…has been a bit sick. But somehow she still manages to smile. She’s just been a little stuffy and a bit cough-y ever since we got back from D.C. Too much getting dragged around I think.
It’s incredibly sad to hear her not be able to breathe well, but somehow the smiles get to me even more. It’s like when we were in D.C. and stuck in traffic and she was crying ridiculously hard but of course I couldn’t take her out of the car seat. She was getting to the desperate point and then stopped and looked at me and smiled, with tears still in her eyes, as if she were saying, “Please, mama? I’ll even smile for you!” And I couldn’t take it and started bawling too.
I’d like to blame the emotionalness on post-partum hormones but seeing as I was actually MORE even keeled after I got pregnant I probably have no ground to stand on there. It’s just so hard to see your kid unhappy! Adrian said it’s probably just that as she’s gotten older and is getting more of a personality we’re more attached to her, and that’s probably true. At first it was a bond of “I’m your parent and it’s my instinct to take care of you” and now it’s a little more on the “I really like you and love you and enjoy being with you” side.
This face cracks me up. You think she was done with getting her picture taken?
I’ve always gotten teary at silly things, like Hallmark commercials and seeing lines of cars waiting to pick up children from elementary schools. This week Adrian picked up some Persian food because we were seriously craving it and he told me that there was no one in the restaurant and I really thought I was going to full-on cry. I can’t stand it when small businesses fail. Fantasy baseball is no good for me because I feel bad for players or teams when they don’t do well. Like when one of my pitchers (who happens to be the oldest starting pitcher in baseball) had a stinky first game, I didn’t feel so bad about the bad stats for my team but I felt bad for him personally because I respect that he’s still playing ball, and I didn’t want him to feel sad that his first game of the season was like that. These type of situations happen ALL THE TIME. It’s ridiculous.
I even sometimes throw games in real life because I feel bad if someone else loses. I think I need help. Putting that sort of focus on the emotions of anything and anyone around me is actually sort of paralyzing sometimes, because I’m constantly either feeling guilty or trying to figure out how I can fix it or otherwise make it better. And that’s a terribly unhealthy way to function.
Well! I didn’t mean for this post to be about my insanity (in other words, I didn’t mean for it to be so truthful… ha!), so let’s get back to the happy smiles, and hope that this kid can grow up relatively normal. 
This is prettymuch how she always looks while getting her diaper changed. She loves that spot. Is it the window? That’s my guess. Sometimes we put her there just to let her chill out because she likes it so much. At her first diaper change of the morning she is the most smile-y out of any time of the day. Amazing considering she came from two very-not-morning people.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who cries over things like that… you would have be balling right with me when I closed the door over handing over $3 in change to a teenager who was selling baked goods along with his mom, dad, and two sisters in our complex because their Dad was out of work and they were trying to help pay bills and stuff. Horrible. I cried for like ten minutes, then called my mom and she cried too. I NEVER EVER used to cry. Having a baby does something crazy to your emotions.
And Ella loved her changing table too! It was definitely her favorite spot. Maybe they just love not being messy or wet anymore… who knows.
Oh, the brave little smiles in the midst of discomfort get me too! Simon has done that, and it’s just heartbreaking. These little ones are so sweet.
I’ve always been a weepy sort of person as well, but it’s definitely gotten more intense since the baby.
Anyway, lovely pictures- you’re capturing some priceless expressions!
It is so hard to see them not feeling well or unhappy. I remember when Angie was about 6 weeks old I had gone to costco and was heading home with just me and her. She cried the whole way home. I was crying and a nervous wreck by the end. I think some of it is hormones (which don’t really go away until you are done nursing, I think). The other part is that you love this little baby so much it hurts you when she hurts. I feel the same way.
It is so fun to see her smile. Enjoy each moment. I think they can sense if you are not a morning person and decide to be up bright and early. JK. Angie used to wake up between 4am and 5am to eat then go back to sleep. Now she sleeps till 6am but stays awake. I am not a 6am kind of gal. Thankfully Andy is very helpful and I love her so much that it is just fine. I am sure someday I will be able to get more sleep.