The Untitled Title Page » Morgan

Exploring the wide world…of food

Emily — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:44:43 +0000

Lately Morgan has been really into eating entire foods, as in the big versions instead of cut up or mashed up versions. Yes, I realize it may not be the wisest thing, but we are always right there with her while she’s doing it so I don’t really fear her choking or anything. If I see her get a too-large chunk I take the piece away. Anyway, if she sees something she’s interested in she’ll reach for it and shout for it, then hold it dearly when she gets it. And then scream when for whatever reason it needs to be taken away (like how yesterday as we drove home from the store she wailed the entire way because I wouldn’t let her keep eating a banana–the peels are really not for eating, and when she’s rear facing in the car I don’t feel comfortable with her gnawing on something like that). It’s neat to see her so interested in things, and as much as possible I say yes and give her the opportunity to explore. She’s learning texture, taste, and color, all things that make food so interesting to all of us.

(The above picture was a few days after we moved in, hence all the boxes and paper. She practically leaped out of my arms onto the counter and dove for the apple.)

She picked the cabbage at the store. I paused in front of the display and she most definitely wanted one. So we bought it and I reminded her how she picked it when we then made a slaw salad deal out of it. She wasn’t so sure about eating it, though. Greens are hard to chew without any molars.

She absolutely insisted that I share my celery and peanut butter with her. I think she liked the peanut butter more than the celery. Then again, let’s be honest here: so do I!

We made soup while I had her in the sling. She held the vegetables for me while I chopped, then later helped me stir. She very much liked this leek. Kind of an odd choice I felt, but again I do try and encourage her to try and explore. So I let her go to town…

…and of course had to take a picture of all her handiwork. I cut everything else up and only had the leek left, so I really needed to take it. She was not happy. I cut off the dark green tops and gave a few back to her and she was as happy as can be.

The kid will eat just about anything (though of course not dairy! and it seems maybe not eggs either–we’re still trying to figure that one out so being cautious in the meantime). We had Persian food for our anniversary and she at the hummus, koubideh, and of course the cherry rice. Oh, and nan. She enjoyed it just about as much as we did, I think. I love that she’ll join us in our eating adventures. Hopefully she’ll grow up used to different flavors. Spice doesn’t seem to bother her at all.

Similar to her fascination with food is her interest in everyday objects. She loves tubes of toothpaste, for example. The funny thing is that when she’ll settle in to nurse, she’ll often stop and sit up, find whatever interesting object she can, and then come back to nurse while clutching it. Some kids have blankies or stuffed animals, and Morgan has tubes of toothpaste and pens.

UPDATE: I actually wrote this post yesterday, and then today, just to prove everything I said above, she fell asleep for her nap nursing and clutching a lemon. I personally think she’s quite hilarious.

Sink Bath!

Emily — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 20:21:07 +0000

Lately I’ve just been showering Morgan with me because it’s been easier, but I really wanted to give her a bath. So I finally cleaned the sink enough (and we bought a new stopper) and gave her a little bath in there. If you know how I feel about sinks, it should tell you something about how I feel about the bathtub that I’m actually bathing my baby in the kitchen sink. You do what you have to do.

She had lots of fun splashing around and playing with the water, as always. Then she tried to stick things down the garbage disposal on the other side of the sink and I had to (a) stop that one pretty quickly and (b) suppress my gag reflex.

This rubber ducky is her favorite. We got it randomly–it was the Westin Kid’s Club gift when we went to Washington D.C. for Diana’s wedding. But we kept it and she’s always liked it. I also always sing the rubber ducky song when she gets in the bath, and she usually grabs the rubber ducky first.

I try to sing certain songs to help give a rhythm to life–so I always sing the same songs at bath time and certain songs when it’s raining, as well as of course the same bedtime songs. I need to increase my repertoire of songs for normal daily stuff though. Is there such a thing as a song for cooking dinner or cleaning? Maybe I’ll have to start making up my own.

Our girl is growing up

Emily — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:30:30 +0000

Morgan is getting so big. She wants to explore everything and is always interested in whatever we’re doing. She crawls right over and pulls herself up or climbs all over us. It’s a lot of fun. I personally think she’s hilarious.

Look at that squished up nose! It’s been so dark (and cold!!) that I’ve taken to using the flash on my camera. I know–it’s so unlike me. But I’m so tired of having blurry pictures inside that I don’t even want to take them sometimes, which is even sadder than funky flash shadows and washed out everything. So there you have it.

Also, this picture was taken at the end of our week with intermittent hot water. The laundry situation was pretty bad. I feel like I have to put that disclaimer in because of the shorts and my pasty legs. Not that my legs are ever not pasty, nor do I care, but I’m just saying. Happily we have a new water heater and all is well. And I still get excited when I feel warm water coming out of the tap.

I was chain piecing a giant string and of course Morgan was happy to play with it. She likes to sit and sew with me, which usually I like. Last week., though, I actually sewed THROUGH my finger. It was not my most brilliant moment. I was trying to nurse her at the same time (likely the problem) and just somehow got my finger in the wrong spot. Luckily it went through right next to my nail and not through it. I was half annoyed at my dumbness, half sad that I broke a needle. The damage wasn’t nearly as bad as I first thought. Had I not been so worried about getting it out–and listening to an unhappy baby who suddenly was plopped on the floor when she thought it was nursing time–it would have been a good picture. Hehe. It hasn’t stopped me from pushing forward on present-making, though, even though it’s going pretty slowly.

Playing with Daddy’s new golf club as he unpacked it. Of course as soon as she sensed his excitement she had to get right in there! I think she knows which things interest us, and she figures it has to be good. There’s no fooling kids.

She’s reached the “pull everything apart” stage, which includes books on the shelf or clothes I’ve just folded. It’s hard to mind, though, when she smiles like that. Plus I enjoy her exploring, which is all she’s doing. There’s very little that can’t be refolded or reshelved, so it doesn’t really bother me.

The big news of the week? Teeth! She’s had four for a while now, but it sort of stopped for a bit. There was one that has been visible but not through the gums for about two months. A couple days ago we noticed that it had finally broke through, and then last night I felt the one next to it also. Then today I poked at her bottom teeth and noticed another one that’s actually pretty far in already. We just hadn’t been watching for those yet. So that’s seven teeth! Crazy. That also explains, probably, why she’s been super clingy for the past week and hasn’t been sleeping well at night again. The teeth, the teeth… and three at once!

Going along with the teeth, she’s eating lots on her own, which is tons of fun. She makes a mess sometimes, but she actually does a very good job of it and clearly enjoys it. The biggest bonus is that I actually get to eat my dinner more or less like a normal person now, so I’m loving this new development.

More on Morgan

Emily — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:42:27 +0000

After the last post about Morgan, I thought of more things that are new lately. There are actually new things almost daily around here, really. I think she’s at such a fun age!

She wants to explore everything! I sometimes sew with her on my lap (since she’ll only let me put her down for about 30 seconds) and now she likes touching and exploring the machine. So one day I put the needle all the way down and let her touch and grab whatever she wanted. I think she had fun.

She has started using her fingers, not just her hands, which is so neat to watch. She has been on a big eating kick lately–she seems to go back and forth, interested or not interested in solid foods, but she’s definitely interested now. We’ve started giving her small things she can feed herself, and she loves it. Except now, of course, she doesn’t like being fed. She only wants to feed herself. It’s hard to feed yourself purees of food when you can’t quite do the spoon yourself, though. She winds up spreading it all over, which is okay too. A little bit probably does get into her mouth. Hehe. Now that she’ll sit and feed herself, I can actually set her down for a minute and eat my own food. Whoa. It feels revolutionary.

This face cracks me up. I know it’s blurry (moving target–she spied my camera and dove for it), but it’s too funny. Notice how Toby just watches us as though we’re crazy? Yeah.

So the other thing about using her hands and fingers: We’ve read Pat the Bunny for a long time, and usually I help her pat the bunny, play peek a boo with Paul, touch Daddy’s scratchy face, etc. If you haven’t read the book, that sentence probably didn’t make a lot of sense. Well, suddenly she does it herself. As I read the bunny page, she reached with her little pointer finger and pat the bunny all by herself, and she likes lifting the cloth to play peek a boo with Paul. Kills me. Too cute. I’ll try to get a picture of this sometime.

Toby is by far still her favorite. She shrieks with excitement when she sees him or gets close enough to touch him. Of course Toby has learned that she grabs and runs away still, generally just watching her wearily from a distance. Hopefully someday he’ll like her as much as she adores him.

Morgan is still very attached to me, but she’s started acting that way with Adrian more, too, which I think is so cute. When he leaves the room we’re in, she calls after him, watching the door, and then gets really excited when he comes back. It’s so sweet to see.

Morgan update

Emily — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:28:37 +0000

Some random updates on Miss M…

–The teeth–

Her two bottom ones have been in now for two and a half months. One top came in about a month ago. The opposite one on top has been looking like it’s right there for about three weeks. I keep poking at her, thinking it’ll be through, but it’s not. This constant pressure might be what’s causing her to have a harder time sleeping lately? Who knows. It’s rough being a kid sometimes, I suspect.

–Um… mobile?–

Morgan has never really truly crawled. She’ll propel herself forward when she wants to, but mostly she just doesn’t bother. She will, however, grunt until we give her our hands and she can pull herself up, which she has been doing for about three months. She’s getting much better at walking while holding onto our hands, and she’ll transfer from one thing to another (the chair to something next to it, our hands to the couch, etc.). However, now that she has gotten better-at-but-not-perfected the concept of walking, she seems to have decided to move on… to climbing. It’s hilarious. She’s been doing it somewhat for a while, like scaling up my hip and side while I hold her (hence the nickname shoulder or back monkey, depending what we’re letting her climb on). But then this week she used the tin of blocks next to the couch to climb up onto the couch–while we were giving her some balance support, of course. She just constantly wants to do more, get more, see more. She still doesn’t like sitting much; she prefers to be up high where she can see more. Curious kid, I tell you. Her awareness since birth has shocked me.

Holding on to daddy’s hands by the couch. This was on Conference weekend, which was absolutely gorgeous weather wise and just so nice.

–Yogurt, or how we discovered her milk allergy–

Morgan was sitting on my lap as we finished up dinner and kept grabbing for my plate, which had tsaziki and hummus on it. I could understand how that would be fun to grab and play in, so we got her a plate with plain yogurt on it so she could eat it if she wanted to. She had a lot of fun. It was all over her, me, and the tablecloth. Luckily all those things are washable.

Well. Her face got a little red, and as soon as we took her clothes off so we could both shower off we saw that her whole chest, belly, and back were turning bright red. Then she started getting little white welt-y spots on her chest. And she was clawing at her chest and scratching it. Poor kid!

So the good news is that now we know what may have been causing the crazy excema and skin issues she’s been having. I have completely eliminated milk products from my diet–which made me cranky for a day because while we don’t drink milk anyway I do cook with milk and cream and really really like cheese. Plus it’s just a pain because milk is in so much. Even the bread we had has milk in it. But of course feeling sorry for myself made me feel worse because I realized how selfish I was being, feeling sorry for ME when she was so uncomfortable and there was a possible way I could help her.

So far she seems to be improving a little but still is not great. It’s been a week totally milk free (okay, except for the very small amount of parmesan in the pesto I had previously made and frozen). I’ve also switched laundry detergent and use a whole lot of Aquaphor all over her. A couple nights ago she was waking up a lot, grabbing at her chest and trying to scratch through her clothes. So I suspect something still isn’t right. There’s this old animated version of “Madeline” where Miss Clavel runs through the house and sings “Something is not right, something is quite wrong…” and I sometimes sing that to myself. The next step, however, would be to go on an elimination diet for wheat, soy, and eggs in addition to the milk, and then I would have a hard time knowing what to eat at all. We’ll see where all this gets us.

–Playing and exploring–

This is Morgan playing with Adrian’s old wooden blocks while sitting on a blanket my grandma made for me. Hehe. When I realized how funny and neat that is I had to take a picture. She ate them, knocked over my stacks, and banged them together. Normal kid.

The other day I bought some balloons for a Halloween thing I want to do and to entertain Morgan I blew one up and let out the air, let it fly around, etc. She was laughing so hard, possibly the most I’ve ever seen. She seemed to like watching it get bigger. I love how kids are entertained by such simple things. It’s so fun to watch and experience with them. It’s a reminder to focus on the little wondrous things all around us.

–Mama!!!!–

She’s back in a major “I need mommy!” mode. She has been in it before, certainly, but it seemed like she was starting to be more willing to let me out of her sight for a little bit or even be held by or play with someone else. Not so much anymore. Today I set her down to go wash my hands–in the bathroom that’s about ten feet away–and she was crying by the time I got to the sink. She does it even when she can see me, too. It’s cute, however also sometimes exhausting. Someday she won’t need me to hold her constantly. Happily that day won’t come too soon, and by then my back will be too weak to carry her around anyway. So it all works out.

And, just because: THIS is why I don’t use flash, even when it results in slightly blurry, yellow tinged pictures:

Haha! I know there’s a way to adjust the amount of flash on my camera, but I dislike it so much I’ve never figured it out. I will hopefully never use it again.

Our other photo session

Emily — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:27:42 +0000

Action shot… she’ll only go forward, inchworm style, when there’s something worthwhile. Apparently the lens cap was good enough. I love the symbolism of crawling away from her toy basket to reach something that Mama likes, which surely means it’s more interesting.

A successful grab… or is this a Nikon ad? I love how she’s holding it just perfectly. I wonder if there’s a way to submit this photo to them. Haha.

She grabbed a page of a magazine I had intended to save. Luckily it wasn’t one that I really really wanted. My selflessness has limits, okay? I was working on my mostly-useless-but-makes-me-happy collection of Martha articles cataloged in binders. It’s a silly thing that lets me feel like I’m doing a project for me.

I love the “oooh!” face. Can’t help it.

[Almost] 8 months

Emily — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 20:45:10 +0000

Still absurdly behind in blogging and still not stressing over it. I haven’t even uploaded all the pictures to flickr. Hehe. I’m working on it, though. I realized that I haven’t been taking enough pictures so I had a few little photo sessions with the little Miss M this last week. I like these, so we’ll call them her 8 month old pictures. Yeah, there we go.

Speaking of the whole 8 month thing, I’m constantly torn between not wanting her to grow at all and also being really excited for her to learn and experience the next phase. And I sometimes am really looking forward to having a little more time to myself, but I realize that when that time comes I’ll probably be following HER around wanting to play. And as much as I sometimes think I do want some time alone, in those few rare minutes where I haven’t been right by her I feel a little panicked. And it doesn’t help that after about three minutes where she can’t see me she howls. This, I am sure, I will also miss when she grows out of it. It’s a constant dichotomy, you see.

Please ignore the fact that a good majority of the pictures I take are in this same spot. We have limited sources for natural light that also make decent photo backdrops around these parts.

A little blurry, but this face is the total Morgan face to me. She’s diving forward a little, which she does a lot. She is curious about everything. And often just looks happy.

I really like this picture. However, she was constantly moving and I was using the manual settings and it’s overexposed on the face. And I think her dear pale skin reflected even more light. (Gee, I can’t imagine where she would have inherited such skin…) I tried to fix it a little but it was hard to do without darkening the background way too much. So I decided to not do any more to it because at my skill level I was likely to just ruin it. Any tips?

The teeth! The teeth! I have tried to no avail to get a good picture of them before more grow in. So I was excited to have a picture where you can actually see them, no matter how shadowed. Hehe.

And this, I think, may be my favorite of all. Hard to choose. Of course I’m quite biased, but I think she’s darling.

Six or one half dozen

Emily — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:23:02 +0000

Time is somehow flying by…

…and this little one is six months old. She is so much fun, and it’s amazing to watch her grow and change and learn. Sometimes it’s so gradual that I barely notice it until I look back at old pictures. I love it when she’s snuggly (though of course she always likes being held, it’s just that she usually likes to be standing). She grabs everything and is sitting up more on her own. Her favorite book is The Very Hungry Caterpillar–good choice, I say. When we read that one she sits with rapt attention and smiles each time we turn the page, especially to the “he was a big fat caterpillar” page. We’re so grateful to have her here!

Peach Juice!

Emily — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 21:44:27 +0000

We went to the Redmond Farmer’s Market and got some pretty great stuff: fresh pastured eggs, sheep’s cheese and fresh mozzarella, and of course lots of fruits and veggies. The peaches we bought were ripe and smelled heavenly, so I cut two up and just blended them for Morgan (who is 6 months old today… what?!?!). They were so juicy it turned into a juice more than a puree, so we gave it to her in a cup. She watches us whenever we drink from cups and get really excited when we let her gnaw on the edge of one, so she was even more excited to discover that this cup tasted good, too. She didn’t like it when Adrian would take it away to give her a break, and as you can see she even helped hold on to it. The food that is easily mashable has been my favorite to give her so far: avocados, which she also usually likes, and these peaches. She also really likes apples, though I did cook those first of course.

Daddy

Emily — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 17:27:14 +0000

Adrian’s birthday, and of course Morgan is trying to eat his knuckle, which is one of her favorite things to chomp on. I love this picture.

Sometimes I’m a terrible mother

Emily — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 18:54:02 +0000

These pictures are old, but I haven’t been blogging at all lately. I don’t know why–I just haven’t been in the mood. Something about summer laziness, perhaps? Plus we’ve been sick, and it has lingered way more than it should have. Bah.

Anyway, so a few weeks ago I decided to see if Morgan could sit up. I hadn’t tried to let her do it on her own, but she has sat well in my lap for a while so I figured it was worth trying. She did okay as long as she leaned forward to balance herself.

However, it didn’t last long, because I think she suddenly realized that it scared her or something:

So how am I a terrible mother? I sat there taking a picture of her in this distressed state BEFORE I rescued her from it. And perhaps even more sad, I’m kind of glad I did because this face is priceless. If you only have pictures of your kids smiling you might forget the various other faces they make. Hehe.

(Adrian had this picture as the background on his phone for a bit but had to take it off because it was too sad.)

I am not, in general, such a terrible mother. Morgan’s a pretty darn happy kid, and I take great comfort in that. We must be doing at least a few things right around here.

And I’ll try to post more pictures of things later. But I make no real promises, so don’t hold me to it.

Time

Emily — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:41:10 +0000

It’s crazy how quickly time is going. I haven’t been blogging, and I apologize for anyone that disappoints. I did do a massive upload of pictures to flickr yesterday, though. We were gone last weekend and now we’re a bit sick, so I’m happily not expecting much out of myself right now. It’s kind of liberating. Hehe.

Anyway, so I can’t believe that Morgan is five months old now. She’s a kick. She’s so smiley and laughs lots, too. She laughs at odd things sometimes, like when we sneeze. Yesterday I got her going with “peek-a-boo”. She cracks me up. She infinitely prefers standing to laying down or even sitting. She will grunt in a frustrated way sometimes even when we sit down. I think she knows the view is better when you’re up high. She only ocassionally will roll over, and gets frustrated after about 30 seconds of laying on her back or tummy. However, if you lay her on her back and hold her hands she’ll pull herself up to sitting and then standing. I suspect she’ll skip crawling and be walking first.

She grabs everything in sight and tries to eat it. Today she even leaned over while I was holding her standing to grab her ball and then stood back up to play with it. I told you, she likes standing.

I’ll try to get more stuff up. Maybe. I’ve got a lot of projects to work on, and a nice holiday weekend ahead of us…

Baby close-ups

Emily — Wed, 27 May 2009 05:05:07 +0000

Morgan fell asleep, the lighting was great, and I finally got some pictures of all her cute little bits I love to admire. I hope I’ll always remember how soft her skin is.

The weekend so far

Emily — Mon, 25 May 2009 04:20:17 +0000

We are enjoying this weekend of sunshine! On Friday Adrian left work a little early so we met up at Red Robin and got to eat out on the patio (which is a big treat around this town).

Daddy kisses!

Yesterday we went into Seattle. We bought some gear for Morgan at Birth and Beyond then went downtown. We ate at the Il Fornaio Risotteria, which was very yummy. We like going to places where we end up ordering a lot because it all sounds too good to only order one dish each. Hehe. We had pizza (REAL, with super thin crust), gnocchi, pear-filled ravioli, shrimp and pancetta risotto, and creme brulee. (Does it make it any better that it was our only large meal of the day?) Morgan fell asleep while we were eating so we walked around the area a bit. When we drove in we passed this adorable older man wearing his veteran’s cap who was giving out or selling poppies for Memorial Day. I was so excited, but then sad to discover that he was gone by the time we got back to that area. Bummer! He had left a sign of Uncle Sam that said, “Uncle Sam wants you to wear a poppy to honor your veterans.” Aww. If we go back to the city tomorrow I hope he’s back so I can get a poppy. I wanted one badly.

Today Morgan is four months old. As always, I wonder where the time has gone. I tried to take pictures of her today, but apparently she was more tired than I thought because it just wasn’t working out too well. And then when she woke up from her nap the light wasn’t any good. I’ll try again tomorrow.

I had propped her up on her hands and she rolled over. She looks pleased with herself, though.

Good shot… except for the string of drool I happend to catch at just the right moment. Ha!

Freezing time

Emily — Wed, 20 May 2009 19:32:04 +0000

Quite suddenly, I feel like I have a baby, not just a little newborn. I know it’ll only get more and more fun as she explores and grows, but I am also loving little sweet things about Morgan right now. Sometimes my back hurts from wearing all day in the wrap (I certainly whine about it sometimes, and tend to feel pretty exhausted in every way by the evening), but I love love love having her so close to me. I can hear her breathing, see her smiling in her sleep, and lean down to kiss her cheek any time I want–and I often do want. I know that soon enough she’ll be too big for this, both physically and mentally, and I hope I can remember all that time we were able to spend together.

Since she has been staring at us eating, following the food with her eyes– with the occasional lip lick to boot– for a while, we’ve started to let her lick and taste our foods. Sometimes she’s interested, sometimes not. Yesterday I bought some apples, pears, and a sweet potato. I don’t think she’s quite ready to start really eating, but I am so excited to introduce her to a whole new world of flavors that I couldn’t help myself at the store. I can always make it and freeze it.

She’s fascinated by her hands, and can’t stop eating them. Currently she prefers her pointer AND middle fingers of BOTH hands in her mouth at once. And she drools. And soaks multiple bibs a day doing so. It’s just so fun to make spit bubbles, don’t you know, that it’s impossible to stop!

Oh, her smiles. They’re fantastic. She lights up when she sees herself in the mirror, and she’s just starting to get proper laughs out. I got her on a roll the other day by pretending I was gobbling her belly.

[Side note: I think I need to rip out that tag on the seat and hope it doesn't ruin it. I don't want every picture of my baby eating to be an advertisement for The First Years. I realized about a year ago how absurd it is that by using branded things or wearing branded clothes with logos splashed all across it we are actually paying for the right to advertise for the company. Figure THAT out. So I try to avoid it when possible. And now back to Morgan.]

Notice in the above pictures that her onesie isn’t snapped… because she’s finally growing out of her 0-3 month clothes. It makes me sad, and I’m stalling. I haven’t washed the next bigger size clothes, even. And really the onesies don’t fit because of the cloth diapers, which are bulkier than disposables. So… she’s not really getting too big. Yeah, that’s it.

I adore her hands and the way she clutches on to my finger or clothes or the wrap across my chest while she’s nursing. I also melt when she pauses and looks up and me and smiles, and then goes right back to eating. That one is pretty hard to beat.

Focusing on these joys reminds me to let go of non-essentials and relish her baby-ness while it’s here. While I’m lready plotting what to do for her first birthday and what we can do as she grows, I know as soon as that time comes I’ll be wishing I could remember exactly how she smelled as a little wee one.

Helpless to resist

Emily — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:56:05 +0000

This kid, I tell ya.

The pictures are off centered because it’s hard to hold the camera and make enough silly faces and noises to get her to smile at the right time. Let’s say they’re artsy this way. Yeah, that’s it.

Besides, does it really matter? I think not–look at that happy face!

Sleepy girl

Emily — Tue, 05 May 2009 01:19:43 +0000

In an effort to try and remember the little things that are so lovely at this age–Morgan’s super soft skin, her smell, the way her hand grips onto your finger, things like that–I’ve taken some pictures lately of her just sleeping.

Most of the time, she takes her naps in the wrap while I clean, sew, or cook dinner.

You’d think having your head kinked like that would be uncomfortable, but she does it all the time, even when I shift her head to be more straight. Hehe.

The other day she fell asleep while nursing and was happy just to sit in my lap for a bit.

Ah…. so peaceful.

Speaking of sleep, we’ve worked out nursing while laying down, which has made nights infinitely easier. I am a much happier human being, because when she wants to eat I only sort of wake up and then just doze back off while she eats. It’s very handy.

P.S. She also snorts in her sleep. It’s really funny.

Easter lambie

Emily — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 02:32:18 +0000

Other than our nice Easter dinner with friends in D.C., we didn’t do anything “traditional” for the holiday. Here’s Morgan with a little lamb my parents sent for it. Seeing as even if we were here I probably wouldn’t have done much, at least our parents send things for her!

Vanessa visits

Emily — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 23:21:36 +0000

Last weekend my dear friend Vanessa came to visit us and meet Miss Morgan. On Saturday we tried to go into Seattle because I needed to exchange something at a store and we thought it would be fun to show her downtown, but didn’t get too far. I was tired and Morgan seemed a little wiped out, too. We did go to a vegetarian Thai restaurant in Wallingford, though, which was quite good.

Vanessa holding Morgan

Family kisses!

On Sunday we all took a super long walk with Toby and in the afternoon Vanessa met up with a friend of hers from New York who lives out here now while we watched a session of General Conference. (I had totally forgotten it was Conference weekend when she planned her trip and we weren’t going to watch it all while she was here since she was only in town for less than 72 hours, so we recorded it all.) Sunday night she made dinner for us, and I came downstairs to see this:

I don’t know how well you can see it, but a huge section of the counter was covered in a pile of vegetables. It made me laugh so I had to get a picture. I guess when you’re vegan you have to use as many veggies as possible!

We had a great time just relaxing and talking and I’m so glad she was able to come visit us! Thank you!

Where’d you get those peepers?

Emily — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:59:29 +0000

I was going to title this post “Jeepers, creepers” but I wasn’t sure anyone would catch it and would think I’m talking about bugs or something. Anywho.

We took advantage of some sun coming through the kitchen window to take closeup shots of our eyes. Morgan’s eyes are currently a blue-grey, certainly not like either of ours but they’ll probably still keep changing. Hers were hard to capture because she kept moving. We got some cool shots that show our eye colors and patterns pretty clearly, but since they’re a little creepy looking I’m only sharing Morgan’s. Maybe sometime when she’s less wiggly I’ll be able to get a better true closeup.

Miss Morgan Josephine

Emily — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 09:52:01 +0000

I’ve never recorded how it was that we picked Morgan’s name. The whole time I was pregnant, of course, we talked about it, but there was a never a name that we were dead set on. My favorite was Madeleine after my absolute favorite author, Madeleine L’Engle. Her books have had a huge effect on me in the way that I look at things, so it seemed appropriate. However, Adrian didn’t like the French spelling, which I would have insisted on because if it weren’t spelled that way it wouldn’t be the same as Madeleine L’Engle. I also prefered the French pronunciation, but then she’d have had to explain her entire life that her name isn’t spelled Madeline, which is probably slightly more common. Ultimately, the problem with it was just that there are so many girls named Madeline/eine/etc. We were hoping to hit a nice balance between a name that people have heard of and know how to pronounce but not so common that three girls on her dorm floor will share her name (yes, this happened to me… but my mom picked my name so long before I was born that it hadn’t yet reached that crazy level of popularity, so it’s different). My attachment to Madeleine L’Engle is important, hence why I am discussing that name and not any of the others in consideration besides the ones we picked.

Morgan was probably our next favorite name because it was a name we both liked rather than one of us liking it more than the other. We discussed many throughout my pregnancy, but Morgan was always on the list. There are two Morgans that influenced us. One is my dear friend Morgan that I met on my study abroad, who has always brought joy around me and who was also my roommate when Adrian and I got married (and was a fabulous sport about sharing her room with a married woman, which probably did seem a little odd). The other is a young girl, I think now 5 years old, from a family in our ward in California. Both of these Morgans are incredibly sweet people and both come from families for whom we have a lot of respect. We often discuss things we’ve observed from these families as things we’d like to incorporate into our own family. So the name Morgan stuck around so well because of all these happy associations.

Oh my, little baby cardigan. Happily for me, my mom likes them as much as I do (thank you!). She looks like a little person here. It’s crazy.

The only problem with Morgan was a middle name. I always wanted to give my first daughter my middle name, Hope. So Morgan was the favorite name, but I just didn’t feel like it flowed well with Hope. So we kept trying other names until I realized at one point that her first name was more important to me than her middle name, since we’d obviously be using her first name more often. If we liked Morgan, that’s what her name should be. So we had to figure out a middle name we were happy with, or it was back to finding a first name that went with Hope.

She has started blowing little spit bubbles a lot. Hehe.

Friend and roommate Morgan’s middle name starts with a J, and she’s called MJ or Morgan J by her family. We played with other initials, but probably because of that nothing else seemed to fit to me besides a J. So we narrowed our hunt down to J names as possibilities. Josephine was one that stuck out, though I couldn’t come up with a meaning behind it besides the Empress Josephine of France, as in Napoleon and Josephine. She probably wasn’t someone you want your daughter emulating precisely, though he did write her some amazingly lovely letters that I used to go read in the library in college when I needed a break from studying.

Very soon before Morgan was born I picked up the Madeleine L’Engle autobiographies I have and on the first page she wrote about Josephine, her first daughter. Well! That satisfied me on having a meaning behind Josephine. I couldn’t name her Madeleine, but at least there could be some sort of connection there.

I’ve been hoping for weeks to get her little eyelashes captured. I never realized that they were something that would come in as she got older.

We still really didn’t name her until she was born. In fact, for the first three days we just called her “baby” and other nicknames. I was paranoid that it wouldn’t fit her, because I never really had a “yes, this is this child’s name” moment. But it fit, and I feel it is sufficiently pretty for our little girl. And slowly I’m getting used to calling her by it. For about the first month I still wasn’t in the habit of calling her Morgan. Hehe. I’m basically there now.

I love her little chubby hands. They are so soft, and sometimes as she nurses or sleeps she still grabs onto my finger.

And that’s the story of the name, for anyone who wanted to know. Mostly, it’s really for my own journaling purposes, but I’m sharing it with you just because.

Captured:

Emily — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:10:10 +0000

The tail end of a smile!

Yes, that’s my blurry claw-looking finger there, trying to poke her while making ridiculous voices. It’s hard to get her to smile on cue while you’re also trying to take the picture!

I like this semi-suspicious look. I think she’s wondering why I sound so silly. I’m just trying to get you to smile, Morgan!

Here we go. Not a big smile, but a happy baby nonetheless.

Tomorrow she is 8 weeks old, and next week is two months. Amazing.

Last birth center visit

Emily — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:52:39 +0000

Yesterday we went to the birth center for the last time. It made us both really sad because we’ve been so happy there. I was excited that we were in room 3 since I wanted to take some pictures of the room where Morgan was born… not only did we forget our camera (so the only pictures we have are from when my mom came with hers) but we were only there for a few hours afterwards and pictures weren’t the first thing on our minds. Besides, I’m not exactly dressed, so those are just for us to see.

Here’s me with Morgan on the edge of the tub where she was born. This is where I got into as soon as I could after we got there, and the water felt lovely, let me tell you. That may have been the reason I thought childbirth was so doable, who knows. It was definitely relaxing. Maybe I should say it was soothing, since I wouldn’t exactly describe it as relaxing… more exhausting, actually. Anyway, the water was nice! (Why do I require so many extra words to say such a simple thing?)

Adrian holding Morgan in the chair where he took her after he dried off while I was getting out of the tub and taking care of the, um, after baby stuff. That only took a few minutes because it was a lot easier than pushing out a baby!

This is the bed where we all went for the next few hours, where they checked me to make sure I was okay and did Morgan’s newborn exam and all that.

Here’s Morgan with Val, one of the midwives. Ali was actually the one on call when she was born, but we probably had the most visits with Val before the birth, and we hadn’t seen her since at our other appointments, so it was nice to see her again. She admired Morgan’s beautiful head shape. Hehe. She had heard about the birth from Ali, but we got to tell her our side of it and how we felt.

I’ve tried to not fill the blog with too many stats, but I feel I need to report that Morgan was 9 pounds, 4 ounces, which I think is awesome for a baby who was 6 pounds, 5.5 ounces 7 weeks ago. She’s made up for surprising us with her teeniness at birth by gaining plenty of weight since. It makes me happy to know she’s growing well. Also, yesterday was the first time I felt like she really smiled AT me. She’s been smiling for a while, once when Adrian got home but mostly at lights or windows, which she really likes. So of course that made me happy.

Like I said, we were sad to leave the birth center. We both teared up a bit saying goodbye and telling Valerie how grateful we were to be able to come there. We miss home in California a lot, but I know that if we were there we wouldn’t have had this opportunity, since Orange County doesn’t exaclty have the hippie mentality you can find up here. If for no other reason than that, we’re glad we’ve been here during this time.

Blessing trip… part 2

Emily — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 21:53:57 +0000

Saturday and Sunday in California were great. We had run around like crazy on Friday so that we could focus on our families once Adrian’s parents flew in on Saturday. We picked them up from the airport a little after noon, went to my parents’ house for a bit while they rested at the hotel, and then we all went to Laguna Beach. We ate at BJs, which is my favorite place and prettymuch the only restaurant I know around there, actually. I can’t imagine Laguna without BJs. Hehe. We also went to the Candy Baron and bought lots of saltwater taffy and Bounty bars for me! I was really excited to see them in the US. Stinky import prices, though.

All of us at the beach… good thing Sarah’s friend was with us so that we could easily get a shot with all of us.

Us at the beach. I was trying to keep Morgan cold because of course it’s chilly at the beach at night, so I only exposed her head for the picture. Adrian, of course, was wearing shorts just because he could. Hooray for California!

Sunday morning we had Morgan’s baby blessing at our old ward in RSM. The blessing was so lovely and it was nice to see old friends. We also had lots of family and friends come for the blessing, which was really great. I felt lots of love, which is always a happy thing.

Morgan with her papa and grandpas (I imagine it’s obvious who is who, since Adrian and I both look similar enough to our dads)

Us outside for what is my current family photo (seeing as there aren’t too many)

Allison with Simon and me with Morgan. We were both pregnant at roughly the same time. Simon was born about two months before Morgan. These two and Glorious were troopers and stayed through the whole Sacrament meeting, which was exceptionally long that day.

After church we went over to my parents house and had a late lunch with our parents, my granda, and my aunt and uncle and cousins. Morgan with my dad’s mom, one of Morgan’s three great grandmothers.

Sarah holding Morgan. The shot is a little weird but it’s the best one I got of Morgan looking at Sarah so intently like that.

My mom (Mimi) holding Morgan. My mom wanted Morgan to wake up so she could play, but I think she was pretty well exhausted from our big weekend and wasn’t interested in anything but sleep right then.

We had a lovely weekend. Our flight back on Monday morning was fine, and Morgan slept almost the whole time there, too. Either she’s an amazing traveler or she really likes being snuggled in the wrap. Either way, she’s a wonderful little kid and we are so grateful for her!

Yesterday

Emily — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 19:52:07 +0000

Here’s the story of our yesterday…

Morgan and I took Adrian’s parents to the airport. They’ve been with us since we got back from California and I finally took a picture of all of them. I excused myself due to lack of shower. We had a nice and pretty relaxed week. They went to visit Adrian’s grandma in Idaho one day, and on Saturday we went to Sam’s Club and then dinner at Cheesecake Factory. But other than that, I didn’t leave the house all week (which is exactly what I wanted… I was exhausted after the weekend in CA!) and we mostly hung out and they cooked and cleaned for us. This is good because I still don’t feel any inspiration to cook anything.

Anyway, Morgan slept on the way to the airport and part of the way back, thank goodness. Poor kid really doesn’t like the car. Sometimes it’ll lull her to sleep, but if she wakes up she’s very unhappy. Well, the car or the car seat I don’t know, but anyway. So we only had a few minutes of sadness when I was already back close to home. I feel like she’s six weeks now and I feel up for going out more now, generally, but it’s just not worth it when she gets so upset. Plus it’s hard to feed her when we’re out, etc. So it’s simpler to just stay home it seems.

When we got back home, the snow really kicked up. It was good that we got home when we did.

Sleepy girl! I love it. I left her snuggled on the couch and told Toby to watch her so I could run outside to take some pictures…

That’s our driveway and street. I thought this was supposed to be March, and I thought we lived somewhere it doesn’t snow! HMM. Actually, I like snow because it’s so pretty, but winter does sort of start weighing on you around this time. The time change has infinitely improved my feelings about it all, though. That extra hour of light at the end of the day is really really refreshing.

I love how branches look with snow on them. These have evidence of spring’s impending approach, though, because you can see the buds. Come on, spring!

Later the sun came out and the snow started melting. I put Morgan in the wrap so we could go take more pictures outside, but then got distracted by her cuteness with the hat on. She, in turn, was adorably distracted by staring out the window at the light and snow.

She was a little less sure about being out in all that coldness, though. Hehe. She was still patient and let me take lots of pictures.

Ice and water droplet! I was exploring playing with my camera, and was pleased with myself.

This one is probably my favorite because of the contrast with the blue sky. There was just a little patch of it, so I had to line up the shot just right.

I was feeling all snazzy and pleased with myself for taking such fun pictures, so I came inside to upload them and was super excited to show Adrian. I brought myself back down by spilling nail polish remover, which I was using to clean the keyboard, over the top of the desk, which of course took off the top layer of seal and paint underneath. Yeah, I felt great, and it was hard to move these giant pieces to make sure I dried it all while Morgan was asleep in the wrap on my chest. But I did it, at least, though it was much too late to save much on the desk. So instead of getting to show off my pictures, I got to show Adrian all the damage I’d done to our lovely new desk when he got home.

Alas. I AM still pleased with the pictures.

Blessing trip… part 1

Emily — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 05:07:02 +0000

Last weekend we went to California and we had a great trip! I’ll do a couple posts, but here are our first two days…

Morgan was an angel on the flight there. And the one back, actually. We had a little incident at the airport where even though somehow we though we had all this time we actually were four minutes past the time to check bags. So we had to “gate check” (who knew you could do that?) and we must have been a sight, rushing through the airport with a giant carseat bag, big suitcase, and a five-week-old. All that aside, Morgan was in the wrap almost the whole time and slept from the time we arrived at the airport in Seattle until we got to our rental car in Long Beach.

She looks so lovely and peaceful here. She’s not normally too excited to be in her car seat. However, she was pretty cooperative while we were in California. Friday we took care of tons of “errands” that we either needed or wanted to do, like a tax appointment, my dermatologist appointment, etc. We also went to look at some houses we’d seen online, since we like doing that sort of thing, and one of them was conveniently left unlocked so we even got inside. Brilliant!

Here is Morgan with… Morgan! This is one of the Morgans who influenced our choice in naming our daughter Morgan. Someday I was going to write a post about how we chose her name, so I’ll leave the rest of that story for then. We were close by their house so we decided to stop by, and the whole family was playing outside.

We went to El Torito Grill with a whole bunch of friends. Santoshi, Arya, and Kamal are the lucky ones who got their picture chosen for blog inclusion because they have a cute baby. All the rest of you will also get your pictures posted when you have kids, so get moving! Haha. It amazes me how big Arya is. I think babies around that age are absolutely adorable.

Joe, Tawnya, and Morgan. This picture is proof that Morgan does not always sleep! Morgan continued to be patient up until way past bedtime. It was a good day and the rest of the weekend continued to be about as full…

Sweet Baby

Emily — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 19:40:30 +0000

The pictures from Morgan’s 10-day-old photo session are up. If anyone would like to look at them here’s the link. Click on the “clients” tab and the password is “morgan”. The photographer said she thinks she’ll be using at least one for the birth center wall, so we’re excited for Morgan to be immortalized there.

All is well. We just got back from California, where we were for the weekend for Morgan’s baby blessing. I’ll put up photos later (the link for the pro photos just took less time, so that one’s up first!).

We had a pediatrician appointment this morning and everything looks good there, too. She’s growing and gaining weight like a champ which is relieving and gratifying as a breastfeeding mama. I mean, I’m glad I’m able to provide enough for her, you know? Because it’s hard to know for sure… though I guess the fact that she has plenty of dirty diapers and acts happy after eating should be enough to relax me on that one… Oh, and last night with all the exhaustion of travel she slept for 5 HOURS. Today I want to do nothing but kiss her all day for such a lovely gift. Hehehe. I kiss her tons no matter what, don’t worry!

Quickest month of my life, that’s for sure

Emily — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:15:52 +0000

Quickest? Fastest? I’m unsure and I’ll be embarrassed if I used the wrong word, but either way time is flying. Yesterday Morgan was one month old. Crazy! Since I’m typing with one hand I’ll keep this short. Ish. I’m still me and I tend to write a lot.

Here’s us in the mirror, Morgan in the wrap that makes it possible for me to get things done during the day. Her head looks funny here, but I promise she does a good job holding it up. When she’s on my chest she holds it up for a while. And yes, that’s our bathroom. I cropped out most anything that’s too bathroom-y.

Before bedtime last night. I love her alert times as much as I love snuggling her when she’s asleep. She very often is just curious and calm.

Can’t resist a naked baby! (Well, mostly naked.) This was this morning, with very little early morning light coming through. But I was enjoying her so I grabbed the camera. What a face!

This is a big step for me. I’ve put her down a couple times for naps in the bassinet. This is how I get showers. I then roll it around so that she’s within a few feet of me anyway, but at least I am able to get clean. And today it meant breakfast, too. Quite the accomplishment, I feel.

Emily’s labor story, a month later

Emily — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:32:00 +0000

I was originally going to post a good bit of my version of the day Morgan was born, but I started writing and it got WAY too long and detailed for blog publication. And now that it’s almost month later and Adrian already did a great job of writing about it all, I’ll just share my reflections for anyone who is interested. Seeing as I made such a fuss about learning about and prepping for a natural childbirth on the blog it seems only fitting to round it out with my thoughts after the fact. So stop right here if any of this stuff freaks you out or you prefer to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Here I am in labor, still at home. Around this time (when contractions were starting to come closer to three minutes apart) I was finally starting to take it seriously, like maybe it WAS really happening. The fact that I was using that bowl for barfing purposes and was clutching onto that sheet and wouldn’t let go probably should have been indications to me. I think my body had done a lot of warming up in the days and weeks before because I’d had bouts of contractions that would eventually peter out, and I could feel that things were happening. They don’t routinely check for dilation at appointments, though, so I have no clue where it was medically or technically speaking. Anyhow, so once labor really started it came on faster than I expected, and I hadn’t had some normal signs (I’ll spare the specifics here) so I kept thinking to myself that it might be the real thing, might not be, and to just wait and see. I was paranoid about (a) calling anyone and then it turning out to be a false alarm or (b) it being the real deal but going in too early. Of course with where we were going I wouldn’t have been given pitocin or anything if I wasn’t “far enough”, but even still I didn’t want to go so early that if things went slowly it would make anyone nervous and we’d have to start thinking about needing a transfer to the hospital. So I was determined to stay at home until I was absolutely positive that I was in very active labor. But then I didn’t really believe that I was as far along as I was, so my plan might have had some flaws.

The car ride was mildly stinky but I only threw up a couple times and it went by well enough because I was paying attention to the turns to know exactly how long we had left. Around the time we left home I started keeping my eyes closed, though I wasn’t really aware of it at the time. As a side note, I was very proud of myself for not making a mess in Adrian’s car. I kept the barf in a bag, and then once we got to the parking lot and my bag had been taken from me I had the presence of mind and ability to move fast enough to get my head out of the car for the next heave. Haha. (Sorry for anyone queasy about these things… I’ve had such a weak stomach since childhood that throwing up in no way is all that gross to me. In fact, it’s usually nice because it relieves nausea, so I don’t mind at all.)

Once we got to the birth center and they listened to her heartbeat through a contraction and took my blood pressure, the tub was ready and I got in. They asked if I wanted to be checked for dilation (bizarre to be asked that normally in a more medical situation, but it was clear that I was moving along just fine so if I didn’t want anyone, you know, invading my space they wouldn’t do it… kinda nice, really) and I did by then, and I was hugely relieved when Ali said I was at 8 cm and then that there was just a little lip left. I was relieved that all the intense-ness I was feeling wasn’t just me being wimpy–I really was far along. In fact, I was at the most intense point, so it wasn’t going to get worse than that. And I hadn’t stalled out from the car ride or anything, which I was afraid of. In fact, I found out later that while she was checking me, mid contraction, she felt me go from 8 to about 9.5.A minute after that my water broke, which I could actually feel the little pop! of. Funny feeling.

While I was pregnant I had developed sort of a mantra for myself to use in labor, something along the lines of “your body is meant to do this, women have been doing this for centuries” etc. And I never even thought anything like that once. At the time I felt very aware and alert, which is another reason I thought I must not have been too far along, but looking back I guess I was pretty focused inward. I just wasn’t even thinking, except to note things like what was going on around me. So at one point, someone said to me that my body clearly knew what it was doing, and I thought, “Hey, yeah! That’s right!” Hehe.

Pushing was fine, too. In non-public places I can describe it fairly clearly, but since it’s bathroom-y I’ll spare it here. I just really felt like I needed a bathroom, put it that way. When she was getting closer to out, I was able to feel her head with my hand, which I didn’t think I would want to but I sort of just automatically did. When she was getting closer to crowning, Tonya told me to try and hold her where she was so that she wouldn’t go back in at all but allow me to stretch a little more. I had the feeling of, “Um, and how am I supposed to do that?” But it worked, and being guided to let it all go gently I didn’t tear at all even though her hand was up against her head. Many, many hoorays on that one! Incidentally, I’d heard much talk of the “ring of fire” sensation as the baby crowned, but I really was detached enough from stressing over it that I just asked “So that’s the ring of fire?” as she started to crown.

I think this whole endeavor was successful for a couple of reasons. One is that I really did just completely stop thinking and allow my body to do what it needed to do. I found a rhythm of movement on the birth ball through contractions that somehow helped and I just stuck with it. It felt good to be in the tub, so I didn’t get back out. Mostly, though, it was the noise that proved to me, in retrospect, that I did a good job letting go. I had read, particularly in Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth (my absolute favorite, and I read it twice while pregnant) how making low noises can help because it opens the throat and therefore relaxes the body. I didn’t think I’d do that, though. I’m not really a noisy person in general, and the though of doing that just didn’t sound appealing. But oh my did I! I’ve never made that much noise in my life, I don’t think. They weren’t distressful noises, just really low moany grunty type things. Frankly, I think I sounded a bit like a cow. Not exactly what anyone thinks they want to do, but it absolutely worked for me so I’m glad I let myself go with the flow and not let some inhibitions jump in, but rather allow everything to go as quickly and resistance free as it could.

In terms of pain management, I think it went well because of my expectations. I was expecting it to be painful but manageable. Therefore, when I got there it didn’t scare me at all. I made a lot of noise, like I said, but there was no screaming like a Hollywood labor. And reflecting on it all, in all seriousness I would not describe it as painful. I think I was really prepared for it, so my body and mind didn’t tense up and fight any of the feeling. Pain is the time I accidentally opened the front door over my big toe and cut the nail. This was very different, and the only way I can explain is to say that it was intense. Complete, entire-body intensity.

I’m so glad that everything happened as it did. I realize completely that it’s not the right thing for everyone, but it was for us. Noise aside, Morgan was born in a very peaceful way. There was enough soft daylight coming through the shades on the windows, so inside there were only candles lit. Adrian was able to help bring her straight to my chest. (He was going to catch her, but because of the hand on her head thing Tonya did a little more guiding.) She let out a few little cries, but then was very cam and alert. I have done and still do a lot of thinking about how it must feel for babies to come into the world, so I like to think that it was as comfortable as it possibly could be for her. No one messed with her except to listen to her heart and lungs to make sure they were fine, and then left the rest of the newborn exam stuff until a few hours later. I’m just so grateful we were able to do it.

There was a point at the birth center where I looked up and said, “Hey, it’s too late for a hospital transfer now anyway, isn’t it?” That was a big point for me, to realize that like it or not this baby was coming and I couldn’t change my mind on the whole medicine question at that point. I’d like to point out that I had not ever asked for medicine or said in any seriousness that I wanted to go to the hospital. But it was just that even though I hadn’t actually birthed her yet, at that point I felt like I had done what I planned to do, and I felt proud of that. I didn’t quite feel the “Whee!!! I DID IT!!!” that I thought I would at the end of it all, but that was my moment I think. It was just a good feeling to know that with all the unpredictability of childbirth, we were able to do what we had wanted and planned. And that was a good feeling.

Plus, you know, we had this really darling, healthy baby, and there’s nothing better or more important than that.

Four weeks already…

Emily — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 03:45:41 +0000

Yesterday was four weeks for Miss Morgan. Crazy how it goes. She’s eating and growing well, and most times she sleeps well, too. I can’t imagine having a baby with a really hard time sleeping. I mean, this is not easy for me as it is, and the times where she won’t go to sleep or is so exhausted but just can’t sleep I really feel like I’m losing my mind. And frankly it’s been exhausting for me because I’m the only one who can feed her. However, I feel like the last few days I am slowly starting to come out of this daze. I didn’t even really realize how deeply out of it I’ve been until I would realize how I hadn’t even noticed the last four days, for example. And now that I am feeling a little more on top of things I feel like “oh, THAT’S what it’s like to feel normal!” I wouldn’t say I’m all the way there, but there are glimmers.

Relatedly, I’ve been feeling annoyed when I see or think about other people I know who’ve had kids recently. I see a picture (or think of one I’ve seen before) and I think, “Are you kidding? She looks so normal. Is that makeup? I can’t remember the last time I brushed my teeth…” Not helping was that it was hard for me to shower at first because of some issues, so for the first time since I was in high school I actually skipped days without showering. Like, um, four days at first. Yeah, sick. It just seems like people handle this transition better than I have, and so then I’m hard on myself for not being all put together. Part of this, I realize, I bring on myself because we hold her so much. So I guess that’s just my choice that then causes me to get so little done besides feeding her, and clearly I’m not changing my choice so it must be more important to me to do that than to cook dinner or something. I probably should have known that newborn days would be hard for me. Caring for a newborn has been easier than I expected it to be because I’ve always been so nervous with little babies, but that doesn’t mean it’s been a piece of cake by any means. And for goodness sake, that lack of sleep is a killer for me. Maybe it’s just that it seems easier for other people because I’m not inside and living that life–I only know my own. It always looks easier on the outside.

So! I don’t mean to be a downer or anything, that’s just a report on life at M+4 weeks. Life is good, it’s just flying by in some sort of fog and I’m hoping to pull out of it a little. Today my accomplishment was folding some towels and doing a teeny bit of ironing. Woo hoo!

I had a little photo session with Morgan because the light was fairly decent. I really feel like I need to learn to use my camera better. The other day I was looking at pictures on the computer and I thought I must be focusing wrong because so many are blurry, and I realized that by refusing to use flash in a rather grey place, when one of us moves at all the picture comes out blurry. I’m a genius for having not realized this before. There is a prime example of life in this baby daze.

This is the “I’m ready to eat now… why are you still taking pictures of me?” look. Aww.

I had a hard time picking which ones to post, so go to the flickr albums (link in the left sidebar) for more.

2 Weeks

Emily — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 06:51:00 +0000

Our baby is already growing up… it makes me sad, which I wouldn’t have expected as much. I feel like I’m not taking enough pictures because days seem to sort of just blend into each other right now. I wish I could somehow get all her expressions so I could remember them, though. Anyway, yesterday I decided that I needed to make sure to take pictures. Time is already flying by, seriously. It doesn’t hurt that I feel like I sleep most of the day–making up for the lack at night, I guess.

Before you see them, yes I do realize that every picture I have posted has her wearing a onesie with a blanket. She does now actually finally fit into a few select clothing items we have for her, so that will start to change soon. But the onesie is so simple and easy, really, and it’s so nice to snuggle her in blankets that it might continue.
Not the best picture ever, but that’s my fault. She’s still cute, though somehow this doesn’t quite look like her to me. I always wonder what she is thinking/feeling.
Why do yawning pictures entertain me so much? (And the picture’s color is off, which again is my fault, trying to play with the light available and not knowing really what I’m doing with my camera.)
I love her lips and I love her hands. I think they’re adorable.
Looking back at the headboard, I think. When she’s awake she’s incredibly alert and aware of things around her. We played with a ribbon yesterday and she followed it, even moving her head, all the way back and forth in front of her. I was impressed. It’s neat to see her learn but then I do already have a nostalgic feeling for when she was super tiny and new and only wanted to lay on my chest (actually, she still probably only wants that, so nevermind on that point). I try to remind myself that growing up means a little more rest for me… and maybe eventually she’ll eat less than once every two hours, which right now seems to consume my entire existence. But then conversely I remind myself when I’m slipping into unconsciousness while feeding her AGAIN in the middle of the night that this won’t last forever and I should enjoy her being so small. I guess it really did take having my own baby to understand the newborn joy.

Birthday Cake

Emily — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 16:55:00 +0000

Here we are finally getting to that birthday cake we bought Morgan the night before she was born (coincidentally). We had tried for it on her one week birthday but it was frozen and took longer to thaw than we expected. Bummer. So we broke into it the next day instead. A whole (small) Godiva chocolate cheesecake. So yummy.

Outings

Emily — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 13:53:00 +0000

On Monday we went out for the first time. (Actually, Saturday, in honor of Morgan being a week old and in an attempt to keep some sanity, we went down the street for a walk. The fresh air and sunshine peeking through did us good, even though it was way too cold.) We had our appointment at the birth center, and I was very good and followed their advice that the appointment be the first time I went out. (We had had a home visit from one of the midwives earlier in the week to make sure things were good.)

Morgan was not happy at first to be stuck in a car seat, but then eventually the car lulled her off to sleep, and I took advantage of the natural light to get some pictures of her snuggled up. I tried to comfort her with the blanket tucked around her but I think the real solution was just the car movement. Go figure.

This is our little sign on the birth center wall of all the babies born there.

Morgan was already up to her birth weight on Monday, which was a big relief for me, of course. I was worried she wasn’t getting enough to eat. Apparently we must be doing things well enough, though.

Tuesday was a big day because we went to a photo session in the morning. There’s a lady doing photos of babies born at the birth center to display there, and so just for participating we got the free session and a few prints. I’m super excited to see them, and I was really happy that it worked for us to do it because otherwise I doubt we would have done real newborn pictures. Plus, it’d be cool if Morgan got to be up on the wall of the birth center. Anyway, our easy-going baby was very cooperative and it went pretty fast, relatively speaking.

Then in the afternoon we went to the pediatrician, whose office luckily is about three minutes from our house. She’d gained exactly an ounce from the day before–again, good signs that feeding is going well. Our doctor kept commenting on how alert she was and how she moves her arms and legs smoothly, not jerkily like I guess a newborn often does. Of course as her parents that’s what we like to hear. Oh, and she impressed everyone by not crying when she had to be naked to be weighed and then sit in her diaper for the rest of the appointment. She really is just incredibly mellow.

Morgan’s pretty strong already. She has been since birth, but now she’ll push herself up when she’s laying against my chest and look at me. It’s kind of scary how quickly she’s already changing and growing.

More Pictures!

Emily — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 04:10:00 +0000

Here are a couple more pictures… I need to be taking more, because already Morgan is looking so different than when she was first born!

In case Adrian’s post about her birth somehow didn’t convince you, this should show you how much these two enjoy each other. She especially enjoys her naps with Daddy.
This was taken yesterday, when she was 5 days old! Time is already going so quickly…

We spend lots and lots of time snuggling around here. She has probably only really been put down for a total of, um, 45 minutes since her birth. And even then she’s still been right near us but maybe we’re both trying to eat at the same time so we lay her on a pillow next to us or something. Might sound insane, I realize. (Even her newborn exam, which was an hour or two after birth, was done right next to us on the bed of the birthing center.) She sleeps either snuggled next to us, like the above napping picture, or on one or our chests while we recline a little and try to doze. I’m going on the idea that it’s impossible to spoil a teeny newborn like that. Plus we were struggling a bit with breastfeeding at first, and staying skin-to-skin as much as possible is one way to help that. Mostly it’s that I feel like it MUST be a little scary for tiny babies to be out in the big world after their entire human existence has been snuggled up warmly inside their mommies. Then all of a sudden they’re out in some crazy new world, so of course they’re going to feel most secure when they are as close as possible to the people who were familiar even before their birth. And the joy of having only one child so far and absolutely no responsibility besides her care at this time is that we get to do that. We even generally change her diaper together so that one of us can touch her while the other one does the changing. Yeah, I know. Crazy. It’s okay.

Oh, one more example: after her birth and the first few minutes while we were still in the tub, Adrian got out and dried off and then she went from my chest to his while I did the last stage of labor passed the rest and they helped me to the bed and made sure everything was, you know, okay. (I’m trying to be delicate here! Hehe.) So even THEN she prettymuch only had contact with us.

And you can still say we’re crazy, it’s okay. It’s actually just impossible to NOT constantly hold someone so incredibly cute.

Morgan Josephine…A Daddy’s Tale

Adrian — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 06:36:00 +0000

I know many of you have been clamoring for more details about this sweet little baby, so let me just get a few of them out of the way for you before I get into the story.

Name: Morgan Josephine

DOB: January 24, 2009

Time: 4:02 pm

Height: 21″

Weight: 6 pounds, 5.5 ounces

So it all started Saturday morning. Emily has had previous experiences in the past couple of weeks with contractions. They would usually wake her up, make her feel uncomfortable, but they were sporadic and she was able to go back to sleep and ignore them. 6:30 am some more of these contractions began, but this time Emily was not able to ignore them, they were more intense but still a little sporadic. I finally woke up sometime around 8:00 because I noticed her squirming around more than usual, so I asked her what was up and how she was feeling. She let me know that she was having contractions again, but she couldn’t ignore these. We continued to time them for about 30 minutes and they were still all over the map. 8 minutes, 5 minutes, 7 minutes, but still intense enough that we knew these were a little different.

Now…every weekend since Week 37 we have been having our last “date night(s)” as a couple just in case we would not be able to again. We did that at week 37, a couple of nights, same with week 38, so we decided to give it one last go in week 39. Earlier this week, I was talking to Glorious about The Cheesecake Factory, and he mentioned how somebody told them that cheesecake was supposed to help make labor easier. Of course this was all scientifically backed by years of research. We had been meaning to go back and get the baby (and us too…ahem) an entire Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake for her birthday. And that is exactly what we did Friday night. But we also had a slice of Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake with our dinner. I realized that I did not like that one as much because it tasted too “cheesecakey” to me.

So it must have been that cheesecake, right? All that crazy sour cream cheese is really making her uterus go crazy. At about 9:00 I mentioned to Emily that she might as well get in and take a shower now while she can just in case this is more down the path of labor than her other previous contractions had been. She proceeded to shower, and every time she would feel the start of a contraction, or have one end, she’d put her hand out of the door and bang on the wall. They were now coming in at every 5 minutes pretty consistently, and a minute long, give or take 5 seconds. Side note, Emily also proceeded to shave her legs, because you don’t want to birth with hairy legs, right? I mean, when the midwives get down there, and see a little stubble, they just storm out of the room. :)

After Emily was finished with her shower, she put on some clothes and said that she was going to go downstairs and watch some TV to try and get her mind off of the contractions. She thought it would be a good distraction and help them go away. I decided to get in the shower too, and used my fancy badger hair shaving brush that Emily bought for me during our recruiting trip up here, so I would be extra silky smooth if the baby was going to come today. That and trying to email people to get their cell phone numbers in case the baby did come, took us to about 10:30.

I went downstairs to see how Emily was doing and find out how her contractions were going. Still about the same, 5 minutes apart, about a minute long. Definitely a pattern, and not tapering off either. Emily had decided that it was time for her to use the birth ball, so we both came back upstairs to our room, rolled out the ball, and then out of nowhere the contractions seemed to move up to being only 3 minutes apart and still about a minute long. She had a few of these and we called our Doula Wendy at about 11:30 to let her know what was going on and get her advice. From what we told her, and what she has seen, it sounded to her like this was the real deal. Okay. But she also said that typically, contractions that begin in the morning, tend to run through the afternoon and go into the evening, when the baby will be born. Okay, she will call us back in 60 minutes to see how things are going. Since we hadn’t eaten since about 9:00 pm Friday night, Wendy wanted me to get Emily to eat some protein and drink about 16 ounces every hour. She asked if I felt whether she should come over or whether she would be in the way, and I let her know that I thought we were doing find so far. Good luck to me on getting her to eat though.

I went downstairs and told Emily’s mom what was going on and asked if she would be able to make some eggs and toast so that I could go back up and be with Emily. She did and I was able to get Emily to eat probably a good 6-7 forkfuls of scrambled eggs, and a quarter of a piece of toast in the next 45 minutes. She was drinking pretty well too, and really using the birth ball to help with each contraction. There were 2 times where she mentioned about going to the hospital, but I told her she did not use the secret word. Emily kindly pointed out that we had never defined a secret word, at which point I told her that I guess she was out of luck on that one then. Sometime around 1:00 Emily also mentioned that she did not feel she was coping well, this was a signal to me that the contractions were in fact increasing in intensity and I decided give it a few minutes and call Wendy back. She conveniently lives 1 left turn, 1 right turn, and another left turn away from us (about 5 minutes if you take your time), so she made it over here pretty quickly. I gave her the quick recap of everything that was new and she talked to Emily about it and let me know that I should probably get the car packed just so we have everything ready to go when we need it, whenever that might be. I also called the midwives and spoke to Ali and let her know what was happening and that Wendy was coming over. We heard about Wendy from the midwives at the Birth Center, so Ali was comfortable with letting Wendy determine when we should come into the Birth Center, to just give her a call back then.

Loading my car took a while because I was trying to attach my cool car seat that I bought to match the interior of my car and was having some difficulty with it. I have never attached or used a car seat before, plus I wanted to get back upstairs and see how Emily was doing. Needless to say, it was a pain, but I got it taken care of. Everything was put in the trunk too, and we also threw in Emily’s car seat that is supposed to go into her car. I get back upstairs and Wendy tells me that we are probably going to be leaving within 30 minutes, that we are getting to that point. Alrighty. She wants me to move the passenger seat all the way forward with the bith ball in it, so that Emily can kneel behind it into the rear seat so that the position is almost like using the birth ball. That means I had to take the car seat out and have Wendy put it in her minivan since my trunk is now full. It was a pain getting out just like it was getting it in. And knowing that we know had a countdown, I was trying to get it all done as quickly as possible.

I get all of that done, get back upstairs and ask how things are going. They are finishing a conversation about laboring in the tub, and Wendy thinks it is a good idea, so we are going to leave now for the Birth Center. I called up Ali and let her know that we were planning on going in now, and let her speak to Wendy. Now, in order to do this, Emily has to have a contraction, then feel well enough to stand up, walk out of our bedroom, down the stairs, through the living and dining room, down the drive way and into the backseat of my car. Easier said than done, and that was not terribly easy to say either. Well
, she did it. We got in my car, put in a few last minute items, and were on our way. It was about 2:00-2:15 and the Birth Center was 20-25 minutes away.

Now…up to this time, I felt that I was handling everything pretty well. I was not nervous or stressed at all, but I absolutely do not like seeing Emily in pain. During the car ride, I could tell that she was in much more pain than I had seen before, since I just spent the better part of the last hour getting things situated while Wendy helped her cope and labor. It made me cry a few times when a contraction would hit because I knew how uncomfortable she was feeling, and all I could really do was drive safely, go slow over bumps, shift smoothly and let her know how proud I was of her. Of course, this was also the first time I had ever driven to the Birth Center from home, since I always come directly from work, so I had to work the directions back home in reverse and make sure I did not mess up. Luckily I did fine, and Wendy was behind me the entire time to make sure of that. Of course, before we drove off Wendy said “if Emily is in really bad pain, or says she can feel the baby or the baby is coming out, just pull over.” Oh yeah, sure…and you want me to drive slowly AND safely? Well, I still did, but I don’t have 400 horsepower to drive like my grandma.

We arrived at the Birth Center about 2:40, and luckily Abigail, one of the student doulas, was able to arrive before us and start the bath and prepare the room. The Birth Center has 3 bedrooms, and we spent a lot of our time meeting in Room 3, so we headed straight there. Emily was FOCUSSED on getting to that floor by the tub and getting her birth ball back. I went back and forth with Wendy a few times to make sure we had everything inside. Ali showed up a few minutes later and then so did Tonya, one of the other student midwives. Val, the other midwife, was not on call, and when we told her that we hired Wendy as our doula, she mentioned that meant she would not be at the birth because the universe cannot handle her and Wendy there together, or something to that affect. It looks like she may need to take up a side-job in ESP or something.

So Emily labors for about 10-15 minutes or so and decides that she want so get in the tub. It is filled up now, so we do not have to wait anymore. Interestingly, after every contraction now, Emily needs a drink of water. She is stil very lucid and with us mentally too. All of the books and our Birth Zone classes had all said that you will typically enter into an oxytocin-induced state of loopiness. That absolutely was not the case with Emily, and you will understand how as we proceed. Emily’s contractions seem to be a little longer now, and she is really needing to use much lower-toned sounds to get through them. Wendy was great at helping her really use her moaning to move through each contraction, she would also squeeze onto our hands during each one, but surprisingly to me, not with as tight a Kung Fu grip as you might expect. No broken bones or bruised knuckles here.

Emily enjoyed being in the tub for a few minutes and I ask if I should go in now, so I change into my bathing suit and hop on it. For those of you who may not have realized yet, by this point, Emily is naked. Once we got into the Birth Center, the clothes went off, no sense in them now. Your inhibitions fly out the window when you are this far along. Well, how far? Tonya asks if she would like to be measured and we agree. Part of Emily and my agreement was that all measures of progression or otherwise, would be shared to me, and then I would share them to Emily. This way, if you are not as far along as you may think you are, you will not have that number of centimeter dilated hanging over you, thinking how much more you have to go. Since Emily was in the tub, Tonya could not do it so the lefty Ali came in and measured. 8 centimeters. No sense in not letting everybody know that. We are CLOSE. And to think, with everything that Emily has read, all of her doula training, the classes, the people we know, to think she would be at this point in labor at this time was not something she was expecting. That is partly why we maybe were not taking things as seriously in the early portion, since Emily knew very well the amount of time and the steps of progression she should be taking. Typically, early labor is supposed to be from 6-12 hours, active is from 4-8 hours, transition is from a few minutes to a few hours and pushing about an hour. Best case on average for a first-time mom you are looking at 11 hours. At this point, we are at 3:00, about 8 and a half hours in, and all Emily has left to do is transition and push.

The tub was really nice, there was plenty of room for Emily to position herself in, and I was able to sit in a corner and help drizzle water on her lower back and hold her hand or her foot too. Ali had her 2 young boys with her, and Abigail is fairly new, so Tonya took the reins and we knew her fairly well so it was all really very comfortable. The rooms really are like suites at a hotel, dim lighting with candles, and since it was a Saturday afternoon, peace and quiet. Except for the animal moans every few minutes. I am not sure how to explain them really. Very low on the octave scale. Throaty. She moaned the word “low” a few times. Or “oh baby oh baby oh baby…”

Now…during certain parts of labor, the oxytocin is supposed to kick in and you are supposed to lose your sense of humor. Everybody who knows me knows that I like to joke around. But I made a promise to Emily that I would not joke during labor, I knew that it would be tough, maybe the toughest thing I ever did. Maybe even tougher than that one time I passed a kidney stone, but I would give it the old college try. And do you know what happened? What must only be the most awesome pain coping technique known to womankind, Emily transformed into a standup comedianne. There were AT LEAST 5 instances where all of us were cracking up out loud. On a few of them, Abigail and Tonya seemed to try and hide it by looking at me as if to say “um, we can’t be laughing” but there I was, shrugging it off and laughing away. When you hear your wife say “Booya!” during and after a contraction, you know that a) you have a very special woman as your wife and b) you say booya around your wife too much. At one point, MID-contraction mind you, Wendy told Emily “easy” as in take it easy with the pushing on this one, when my sweet wife, stops dead in her tracks of labor, turns her head, and gives Wendy a look that must only say “are you serious? EASY?” Again, outbursts of laughter. At this point, I no longer felt I had to keep the lids on my comedic repertoire, but I really do not even recall if I used a single zinger.

Do you know what is really cool? Seeing this all happen, in the water. If you asked us back in May, would we be giving birth outside of a hospital we would have told you no. If you asked us if we would birth in a tub we wouls tell you no way. But you know what? All it takes is exposure. Read some books, take some classes, watch some videos. Get informed about the whole process. I never thought I would be okay with a water birth, but there I was, in the tub, about to catch our baby. You could feel her head, and see as it progressed out more with each contraction and push. She had her left hand up with her head as she was coming, so Tonya just needed to make sure it did not fly out and that Emily was able to pace it nice and easy (there is that word again) to avoid any tearing.

Transition was fast, and the only reason pushing took 45 minutes, slow compared to the way Emily progressed through all the other stages, was because of that little left hand up with her head. 4:02, out came her head, then the rest of her. It was so pe
aceful. At one point just before this I sat there with my mouth agape, looking at this little head making its way out. The realization was inevitable. All I have ever wanted, ever wanted, was to be a husband and a father. You can take everything else I have accomplished away, all of our stuff, it just did not matter. Not one bit. Do you ever have that feeling where you know that life is good and if it was your time, you had lived a full life? I think I felt that at that moment. It only lasted a second, until I realized my mouth was wide open, but it was here. THAT day had finally arrived. And out she came, I put my hand on her back while Tonya helped with the rest and up she went to Emily’s chest. All was well. I gave our little baby a kiss on her head, her first kiss, my favorite kiss. The cold air of the world hit the roof of her mouth and she let us know with a few notes that only a parent could love that everything was alright. Ali asked for our camera, she could not find it, only the camcorder. Turns out, in all the rush towards the end of Emily’s laboring at home, I left it next to her phone on the floor. So out came her iPhone for our first family portait, and another. Those we will keep close to the heart. Then the camcorder to record her first few minutes here with us. Maybe she will want to watch it one day, I am sure Emily and I will be watching it much sooner than that.

And there we were, the Vanzulli clan has a new addition. We had a name in mind, but did not settle on it until today. God definitely gave us increase with this sweet little baby. Life is good. Nothing else really matters, you know? And now we adjust to a new life, a life without going out to eat all the time, or dates on a whim, or late nights on the Wii, or 2-seat sports cars. But when you look at her face, and the tears well up in your eyes, you just know this is what you have been waiting for your entire life. Forget about meaningless goals and achievements, I would take this any day of the week, for any price. Everytime.

Saturday night, we left the Birth Center around 9:00 pm (you have to do 3 things before you can leave, eat, pee and breast feed) and were getting ready to take our first night’s sleep together as a family in our own bed.

Baby Morgan sleeping on mommy’s chest. Tell me that’s not cute.

Here I am holding her after a feeding.

And now for the two pictures that will melt a frozen caveman’s heart…

Hello world, nice to meet you, I am cute, I like sleep, look at my stylish onesie.

I just overloaded you with cuteness by adding in a newborn yawn! World peace is at hand, hunger is no more, AND you get to witness my infamous left hand that was like glue to my head during delivery.

Baby Girl

Adrian — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 22:46:00 +0000

Friends and loved ones, we’d just like to put up a quick post before we go to sleep to announce the birth of our sweet baby girl. She is healthy and strong and her and mama are asleep right here next to me at home. We’ll post more later as we get the time…so in about 30 years. KIDDING. ;)