The Untitled Title Page » Pregnancy

What’s up with that?

Emily — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 14:09:00 +0000

Here’s a little mini-rant. I’ll try to keep it short. What’s up with people feeling the need to respond negatively to whatever you say? For example, when I/we tell someone how mellow Morgan is and how generally she’s very content, the response could just be “That’s great!” Instead, it’s things like, “Oh, how nice. Just hope she doesn’t start getting colicky.” (Proper response? What our pediatrician said: “Usually what you see is what you get, so I bet she’ll continue to be that way.” Even if it’s not true… lie to us. I have no reason to think he WAS lying to us, I’m just saying.)

You get lots of that when pregnant. If I ever discussed my plan to birth out of hospital (and therefore without medication) I’d get some positive responses, but often it was along the lines of “Ha, good luck with that” or, “Wait until you get there, you’ll change your mind.” Well, I didn’t change my mind, thank you very much. As Adrian said in his post a few back, I did say something about going to the hospital while we were still at home, but I was half joking, and it was more a “wow, this is intense and a little overwhelming, and it’s tempting to want to make it stop.” I never actually said that I wanted to go to the hospital or wanted medication. (Frankly, that’s because it came on so fast I didn’t really have time to think, but that’s another story. And I already had it in my head that it just wasn’t an option, so therefore I didn’t ask for it, you know? That’s partially why I didn’t want to be in a hospital. I knew if relief were available or offered I’d be that much more likely to want it. Hehe.)

Also fun, as I mentioned before, was the “Oh, you must be so uncomfortable. You look uncomfortable” where of course you want to reply, “Gee, thanks, I felt like I was doing okay right up until then.” Or even random people at stores saying things like, “So are you just ready to not be pregnant anymore?” Where I’d stutter out some response about how pregnancy has been fine but I am excited to meet her and see what she looks like, etc.

So while musing on this attitude that seems to come from people and why people seem to find it necessary to rain on my parade, the term Debbie Downer popped into my head. I realized where I’d heard this before: on my old law school friend Kathleen’s blog. Her post is much funnier than mine, so you should read it. Once again I realize that I don’t come up with any good ideas all on my own. Haha.

In any case, I suspect I probably do the same thing to people, because it’s some sort of thing in our culture that it’s funnier or something to be contrary. Perhaps it’s the prevalence of sarcasm? Also, I’m sure I like to interject my opinion way too much, rather than just let people do and think what they want. So I’m going to work on that, hoping that at least if I start being aware of it I’ll maybe be less of a killjoy for others.

Before and After

Emily — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 11:52:00 +0000

This was taken the day before Morgan was born, Friday the 23rd. I hadn’t taken any belly shots in a long time, and since my mom was around I could actually get a daylight picture. For obvious reasons, I’m glad we took pictures that day.
Here we are a week later. I’m not trying to hide my belly, I promise. but my face looked a little better in this one than in the other pictures that did show my new belly. Hehe. (Anyway, who would want a post-pregnancy belly shot??) Now, the incredible thing is to look at that baby, and realize that she was inside of me. How did she fit? How did she get out? It’s pretty crazy stuff if you think about it. I was there for all of it and still can’t figure it out.

These are a Few…

Emily — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 15:16:00 +0000

This is the other “pre-baby” post… though of course it’s still about the baby…

Some of the excitement of having a baby is, of course, all the fun little things we get to buy or have new. It’s like a grown up game of house… when sometimes you remember that an actual baby is going to come out of this little game you’re playing. Woo! Anyway, here are a few of my favorites that I can’t wait to use or share with our little baby.
Handmade love! The blanket on the left was made by Adrian’s mom, and the one on the right my aunt made. I don’t think of either of these people as old enough to be the grandma or great-aunt who crochets… but they clearly have talent. Did that sentence make any sense? Anyway, I love these and I hope the baby likes snuggling in them.
Finger puppets are cool. That’s all there is to it. My mom bought these and I want to play with them. Having the kid to entertain is really just an excuse for me.
Ironed receiving blankets. Yes, I’m weird. The rest of them are stacked in the bag to take for labor, but something about having soft flannel blankets all ironed and folded makes me feel happy.
This awesome wrap. It’s like a Moby wrap, but I got it off etsy, so it is also handmade love… just not from anyone I know. I wanted one like this ever since we went to the babywearing class because it seems really snuggly for little babies. So I’m very excited to try it out with an actual baby in it. I tried it on over my belly and it just didn’t seem to quite work the same.

[I'm sorry the color on that picture is weird. I don't like using flash when I can avoid it. But then my pictures come out funny sometimes, even in the day... because we live in a really cloudy place. Clouds usually are actually better for photography than direct sun, but it's just really grey here. There are only two places in the house where I can even try for good natural light, so basically all the pictures come from them. And even then it's not great. Sorry. It's just how it has to be for now.]
This is a preview of the actual crib bedding for the little one. It’s just not all set up in anything right now, and all I have is this cool Boppy cover my mom found. People on ebay get creative, and apparently someone bought a crib sheet and made it into a cover. So now at least there’s a preview of what her room will someday look like, and looking at it and thinking of the rest of it makes me smile.

Morgan Josephine…A Daddy’s Tale

Adrian — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 06:36:00 +0000

I know many of you have been clamoring for more details about this sweet little baby, so let me just get a few of them out of the way for you before I get into the story.

Name: Morgan Josephine

DOB: January 24, 2009

Time: 4:02 pm

Height: 21″

Weight: 6 pounds, 5.5 ounces

So it all started Saturday morning. Emily has had previous experiences in the past couple of weeks with contractions. They would usually wake her up, make her feel uncomfortable, but they were sporadic and she was able to go back to sleep and ignore them. 6:30 am some more of these contractions began, but this time Emily was not able to ignore them, they were more intense but still a little sporadic. I finally woke up sometime around 8:00 because I noticed her squirming around more than usual, so I asked her what was up and how she was feeling. She let me know that she was having contractions again, but she couldn’t ignore these. We continued to time them for about 30 minutes and they were still all over the map. 8 minutes, 5 minutes, 7 minutes, but still intense enough that we knew these were a little different.

Now…every weekend since Week 37 we have been having our last “date night(s)” as a couple just in case we would not be able to again. We did that at week 37, a couple of nights, same with week 38, so we decided to give it one last go in week 39. Earlier this week, I was talking to Glorious about The Cheesecake Factory, and he mentioned how somebody told them that cheesecake was supposed to help make labor easier. Of course this was all scientifically backed by years of research. We had been meaning to go back and get the baby (and us too…ahem) an entire Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake for her birthday. And that is exactly what we did Friday night. But we also had a slice of Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake with our dinner. I realized that I did not like that one as much because it tasted too “cheesecakey” to me.

So it must have been that cheesecake, right? All that crazy sour cream cheese is really making her uterus go crazy. At about 9:00 I mentioned to Emily that she might as well get in and take a shower now while she can just in case this is more down the path of labor than her other previous contractions had been. She proceeded to shower, and every time she would feel the start of a contraction, or have one end, she’d put her hand out of the door and bang on the wall. They were now coming in at every 5 minutes pretty consistently, and a minute long, give or take 5 seconds. Side note, Emily also proceeded to shave her legs, because you don’t want to birth with hairy legs, right? I mean, when the midwives get down there, and see a little stubble, they just storm out of the room. :)

After Emily was finished with her shower, she put on some clothes and said that she was going to go downstairs and watch some TV to try and get her mind off of the contractions. She thought it would be a good distraction and help them go away. I decided to get in the shower too, and used my fancy badger hair shaving brush that Emily bought for me during our recruiting trip up here, so I would be extra silky smooth if the baby was going to come today. That and trying to email people to get their cell phone numbers in case the baby did come, took us to about 10:30.

I went downstairs to see how Emily was doing and find out how her contractions were going. Still about the same, 5 minutes apart, about a minute long. Definitely a pattern, and not tapering off either. Emily had decided that it was time for her to use the birth ball, so we both came back upstairs to our room, rolled out the ball, and then out of nowhere the contractions seemed to move up to being only 3 minutes apart and still about a minute long. She had a few of these and we called our Doula Wendy at about 11:30 to let her know what was going on and get her advice. From what we told her, and what she has seen, it sounded to her like this was the real deal. Okay. But she also said that typically, contractions that begin in the morning, tend to run through the afternoon and go into the evening, when the baby will be born. Okay, she will call us back in 60 minutes to see how things are going. Since we hadn’t eaten since about 9:00 pm Friday night, Wendy wanted me to get Emily to eat some protein and drink about 16 ounces every hour. She asked if I felt whether she should come over or whether she would be in the way, and I let her know that I thought we were doing find so far. Good luck to me on getting her to eat though.

I went downstairs and told Emily’s mom what was going on and asked if she would be able to make some eggs and toast so that I could go back up and be with Emily. She did and I was able to get Emily to eat probably a good 6-7 forkfuls of scrambled eggs, and a quarter of a piece of toast in the next 45 minutes. She was drinking pretty well too, and really using the birth ball to help with each contraction. There were 2 times where she mentioned about going to the hospital, but I told her she did not use the secret word. Emily kindly pointed out that we had never defined a secret word, at which point I told her that I guess she was out of luck on that one then. Sometime around 1:00 Emily also mentioned that she did not feel she was coping well, this was a signal to me that the contractions were in fact increasing in intensity and I decided give it a few minutes and call Wendy back. She conveniently lives 1 left turn, 1 right turn, and another left turn away from us (about 5 minutes if you take your time), so she made it over here pretty quickly. I gave her the quick recap of everything that was new and she talked to Emily about it and let me know that I should probably get the car packed just so we have everything ready to go when we need it, whenever that might be. I also called the midwives and spoke to Ali and let her know what was happening and that Wendy was coming over. We heard about Wendy from the midwives at the Birth Center, so Ali was comfortable with letting Wendy determine when we should come into the Birth Center, to just give her a call back then.

Loading my car took a while because I was trying to attach my cool car seat that I bought to match the interior of my car and was having some difficulty with it. I have never attached or used a car seat before, plus I wanted to get back upstairs and see how Emily was doing. Needless to say, it was a pain, but I got it taken care of. Everything was put in the trunk too, and we also threw in Emily’s car seat that is supposed to go into her car. I get back upstairs and Wendy tells me that we are probably going to be leaving within 30 minutes, that we are getting to that point. Alrighty. She wants me to move the passenger seat all the way forward with the bith ball in it, so that Emily can kneel behind it into the rear seat so that the position is almost like using the birth ball. That means I had to take the car seat out and have Wendy put it in her minivan since my trunk is now full. It was a pain getting out just like it was getting it in. And knowing that we know had a countdown, I was trying to get it all done as quickly as possible.

I get all of that done, get back upstairs and ask how things are going. They are finishing a conversation about laboring in the tub, and Wendy thinks it is a good idea, so we are going to leave now for the Birth Center. I called up Ali and let her know that we were planning on going in now, and let her speak to Wendy. Now, in order to do this, Emily has to have a contraction, then feel well enough to stand up, walk out of our bedroom, down the stairs, through the living and dining room, down the drive way and into the backseat of my car. Easier said than done, and that was not terribly easy to say either. Well
, she did it. We got in my car, put in a few last minute items, and were on our way. It was about 2:00-2:15 and the Birth Center was 20-25 minutes away.

Now…up to this time, I felt that I was handling everything pretty well. I was not nervous or stressed at all, but I absolutely do not like seeing Emily in pain. During the car ride, I could tell that she was in much more pain than I had seen before, since I just spent the better part of the last hour getting things situated while Wendy helped her cope and labor. It made me cry a few times when a contraction would hit because I knew how uncomfortable she was feeling, and all I could really do was drive safely, go slow over bumps, shift smoothly and let her know how proud I was of her. Of course, this was also the first time I had ever driven to the Birth Center from home, since I always come directly from work, so I had to work the directions back home in reverse and make sure I did not mess up. Luckily I did fine, and Wendy was behind me the entire time to make sure of that. Of course, before we drove off Wendy said “if Emily is in really bad pain, or says she can feel the baby or the baby is coming out, just pull over.” Oh yeah, sure…and you want me to drive slowly AND safely? Well, I still did, but I don’t have 400 horsepower to drive like my grandma.

We arrived at the Birth Center about 2:40, and luckily Abigail, one of the student doulas, was able to arrive before us and start the bath and prepare the room. The Birth Center has 3 bedrooms, and we spent a lot of our time meeting in Room 3, so we headed straight there. Emily was FOCUSSED on getting to that floor by the tub and getting her birth ball back. I went back and forth with Wendy a few times to make sure we had everything inside. Ali showed up a few minutes later and then so did Tonya, one of the other student midwives. Val, the other midwife, was not on call, and when we told her that we hired Wendy as our doula, she mentioned that meant she would not be at the birth because the universe cannot handle her and Wendy there together, or something to that affect. It looks like she may need to take up a side-job in ESP or something.

So Emily labors for about 10-15 minutes or so and decides that she want so get in the tub. It is filled up now, so we do not have to wait anymore. Interestingly, after every contraction now, Emily needs a drink of water. She is stil very lucid and with us mentally too. All of the books and our Birth Zone classes had all said that you will typically enter into an oxytocin-induced state of loopiness. That absolutely was not the case with Emily, and you will understand how as we proceed. Emily’s contractions seem to be a little longer now, and she is really needing to use much lower-toned sounds to get through them. Wendy was great at helping her really use her moaning to move through each contraction, she would also squeeze onto our hands during each one, but surprisingly to me, not with as tight a Kung Fu grip as you might expect. No broken bones or bruised knuckles here.

Emily enjoyed being in the tub for a few minutes and I ask if I should go in now, so I change into my bathing suit and hop on it. For those of you who may not have realized yet, by this point, Emily is naked. Once we got into the Birth Center, the clothes went off, no sense in them now. Your inhibitions fly out the window when you are this far along. Well, how far? Tonya asks if she would like to be measured and we agree. Part of Emily and my agreement was that all measures of progression or otherwise, would be shared to me, and then I would share them to Emily. This way, if you are not as far along as you may think you are, you will not have that number of centimeter dilated hanging over you, thinking how much more you have to go. Since Emily was in the tub, Tonya could not do it so the lefty Ali came in and measured. 8 centimeters. No sense in not letting everybody know that. We are CLOSE. And to think, with everything that Emily has read, all of her doula training, the classes, the people we know, to think she would be at this point in labor at this time was not something she was expecting. That is partly why we maybe were not taking things as seriously in the early portion, since Emily knew very well the amount of time and the steps of progression she should be taking. Typically, early labor is supposed to be from 6-12 hours, active is from 4-8 hours, transition is from a few minutes to a few hours and pushing about an hour. Best case on average for a first-time mom you are looking at 11 hours. At this point, we are at 3:00, about 8 and a half hours in, and all Emily has left to do is transition and push.

The tub was really nice, there was plenty of room for Emily to position herself in, and I was able to sit in a corner and help drizzle water on her lower back and hold her hand or her foot too. Ali had her 2 young boys with her, and Abigail is fairly new, so Tonya took the reins and we knew her fairly well so it was all really very comfortable. The rooms really are like suites at a hotel, dim lighting with candles, and since it was a Saturday afternoon, peace and quiet. Except for the animal moans every few minutes. I am not sure how to explain them really. Very low on the octave scale. Throaty. She moaned the word “low” a few times. Or “oh baby oh baby oh baby…”

Now…during certain parts of labor, the oxytocin is supposed to kick in and you are supposed to lose your sense of humor. Everybody who knows me knows that I like to joke around. But I made a promise to Emily that I would not joke during labor, I knew that it would be tough, maybe the toughest thing I ever did. Maybe even tougher than that one time I passed a kidney stone, but I would give it the old college try. And do you know what happened? What must only be the most awesome pain coping technique known to womankind, Emily transformed into a standup comedianne. There were AT LEAST 5 instances where all of us were cracking up out loud. On a few of them, Abigail and Tonya seemed to try and hide it by looking at me as if to say “um, we can’t be laughing” but there I was, shrugging it off and laughing away. When you hear your wife say “Booya!” during and after a contraction, you know that a) you have a very special woman as your wife and b) you say booya around your wife too much. At one point, MID-contraction mind you, Wendy told Emily “easy” as in take it easy with the pushing on this one, when my sweet wife, stops dead in her tracks of labor, turns her head, and gives Wendy a look that must only say “are you serious? EASY?” Again, outbursts of laughter. At this point, I no longer felt I had to keep the lids on my comedic repertoire, but I really do not even recall if I used a single zinger.

Do you know what is really cool? Seeing this all happen, in the water. If you asked us back in May, would we be giving birth outside of a hospital we would have told you no. If you asked us if we would birth in a tub we wouls tell you no way. But you know what? All it takes is exposure. Read some books, take some classes, watch some videos. Get informed about the whole process. I never thought I would be okay with a water birth, but there I was, in the tub, about to catch our baby. You could feel her head, and see as it progressed out more with each contraction and push. She had her left hand up with her head as she was coming, so Tonya just needed to make sure it did not fly out and that Emily was able to pace it nice and easy (there is that word again) to avoid any tearing.

Transition was fast, and the only reason pushing took 45 minutes, slow compared to the way Emily progressed through all the other stages, was because of that little left hand up with her head. 4:02, out came her head, then the rest of her. It was so pe
aceful. At one point just before this I sat there with my mouth agape, looking at this little head making its way out. The realization was inevitable. All I have ever wanted, ever wanted, was to be a husband and a father. You can take everything else I have accomplished away, all of our stuff, it just did not matter. Not one bit. Do you ever have that feeling where you know that life is good and if it was your time, you had lived a full life? I think I felt that at that moment. It only lasted a second, until I realized my mouth was wide open, but it was here. THAT day had finally arrived. And out she came, I put my hand on her back while Tonya helped with the rest and up she went to Emily’s chest. All was well. I gave our little baby a kiss on her head, her first kiss, my favorite kiss. The cold air of the world hit the roof of her mouth and she let us know with a few notes that only a parent could love that everything was alright. Ali asked for our camera, she could not find it, only the camcorder. Turns out, in all the rush towards the end of Emily’s laboring at home, I left it next to her phone on the floor. So out came her iPhone for our first family portait, and another. Those we will keep close to the heart. Then the camcorder to record her first few minutes here with us. Maybe she will want to watch it one day, I am sure Emily and I will be watching it much sooner than that.

And there we were, the Vanzulli clan has a new addition. We had a name in mind, but did not settle on it until today. God definitely gave us increase with this sweet little baby. Life is good. Nothing else really matters, you know? And now we adjust to a new life, a life without going out to eat all the time, or dates on a whim, or late nights on the Wii, or 2-seat sports cars. But when you look at her face, and the tears well up in your eyes, you just know this is what you have been waiting for your entire life. Forget about meaningless goals and achievements, I would take this any day of the week, for any price. Everytime.

Saturday night, we left the Birth Center around 9:00 pm (you have to do 3 things before you can leave, eat, pee and breast feed) and were getting ready to take our first night’s sleep together as a family in our own bed.

Baby Morgan sleeping on mommy’s chest. Tell me that’s not cute.

Here I am holding her after a feeding.

And now for the two pictures that will melt a frozen caveman’s heart…

Hello world, nice to meet you, I am cute, I like sleep, look at my stylish onesie.

I just overloaded you with cuteness by adding in a newborn yawn! World peace is at hand, hunger is no more, AND you get to witness my infamous left hand that was like glue to my head during delivery.

Showered Again!

Emily — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:17:00 +0000

Some ladies from church were very, very sweet and threw a baby shower for us up here. I was a little hesitant because I feel like I don’t know too many people, but I do at least know the ones who threw it and it actually turned out wonderfully. About 20 people came (which surprised me because I felt like I only knew about five people… turns out I actually did know most everyone), and it was just really nice. Here are a few pictures from it…
I like food. And the lady who did the food is amazing with it. I don’t know how it ended up that both baby showers for this baby had such fabulous food, but I’m pretty sure she appreciated it almost as much as I did. There was crostini with goat cheese and caramelized onions and filet mignon, a really yummy cheese collection (and she was cute and apologized for not remembering that supposedly I’m not able to eat soft cheeses and stuff… I got to explain how I just don’t care about things like that, most especially when it comes to cheeses. I’m sure there are a whole lot of other things more dangerous to a growing fetus than something like unpasteurized cheese–but that’s a whole other discussion), couers de creme with berries–soo good, chocolate pots de cremes–also fabulous and I wanted to eat them all but decided that would be piggish, and cupcakes and cookies and other wonderful things. Oh my, I’m getting hungry.
We played this Price is Right game with baby products. I’d have been totally off, but of course got to bow out and not play. Paula, who also hosted this all at her house, put it all together. I thought it was really cute. And then I got to keep it all, which was also very nice to her on top of everything else.
Some gals in attendance. Pictures of unsuspecting people are always tricky. This is the only one where noone had obviously closed eyes and everyone had normal looking faces. I doubt any of them will ever see these pictures, but I’m saving them anyway by not posting them.
Me opening gifts, and you can sort of see Stephanie behind me, who did the invites and helped arrange everything and also acted as my right hand person at the shower. I included this picture, really, because you can see my awesome belly. Kee hee, love it.
Me again, but you can actually see my face here. We got lots and lots of presents. People seem to enjoy buying baby stuff, and especially girl clothes I think. There were a lot of great gifts that I’m super excited about!

What I’ll Miss

Emily — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 11:45:00 +0000

As of right now, I am pretty darn cozy with this whole pregnancy business. Maybe if I start pushing a week or two “overdue” my tune will change, but approaching 39 weeks I still think it’s just peachy. I think it’s kind of too bad that there’s this thing about wanting to scare pregnant women and tell horror stories or focus on the negative side of pregnancy. [Funny, charming, and happy emotional article here that refers to that.]

YES my hips hurt, my arms/hands go numb, I’m exhausted, I’m a little anxious, I have to go to the bathroom a lot, I get heartburn (mildly, luckily), early pregnancy nausea brought me to tears a few times, my giant belly gets in the way of everyday movement, I have stretch marks across the lower half of that belly (extra-concentrated in the area where she spends most of her time, interestingly), and my body has gone through some really funky hormone-induced changes that I’ll spare you all the details of because trust me you don’t want to know. Oh, and I snore and make Adrian crazy because my lungs are pushed up somewhere in my throat. But, um… I’m producing another life. Of course I’m going to go through a lot of changes. This is not a bad thing.

The way you frame something– anything– really does affect the way you feel about it. I promise. I’m trying to be positive about everything, and I really do then feel positive about it. The only times I feel un-positive are when I start regretting all that extra attention I probably could have been milking all this time. Oh, and when I get comments like, “Oh, are you uncomfortable? You look uncomfortable.” And I reply, “No, actually I feel pretty good…” (That’s right up there with comments along the lines of, “You look really tired” and you start wondering how terrible you must look to other people because you thought you were looking okay that day.)

So… here’s what I’ll miss most of all: the baby kicking at me. I LOVE it. I wish she moved more. Sometimes I’ll eat something high in sugar and move her around a bit just to get a few extra kicks out of her. I just imagine her squirming around and playing and learning and growing all while inside of me. I also always make a point of telling her aloud how much I like feeling her, because I really believe that babies can feel our emotions and I want her to know that I’m happy when she’s moving. Her movements equal a healthy growing baby, and I want her to feel comfortable. Now she’s moving deeper into my pelvis and I can feel her putting pressure on everything with her head so the movements have changed, but I still tell her to keep going and doing what she needs to do in there. Her movements are exactly “right” to prepare both of us for birth.

I’m not trying to be contrary or anything here, I just want to be one voice out there that is positive about pregnancy. I know a lot of people who are a little or a lot pregnant right now, and I don’t want to add more fodder to the fire… because I probably could answer that yes I’m uncomfortable and go into great detail about why. But why focus on that? Yeah, it’s a total change. And there are moments where I just feel huge and cranky. But these are good things, and it means this baby is getting ready to join us, more and more every day. It is absolutely amazing that our bodies can grow other bodies and produce little babies. It’s mind-blowing to feel another life growing in you, and I’m guessing that then giving birth to this life only cements that miracle. So a few stretch marks, some uncomfortable sleep, and a few months of weird body changes? Yeah, it’s worth it.

Just About Ready!

Emily — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 09:49:00 +0000

Well! Blogger my magic friend has decided to let us upload pictures without a lot of hassle. I was so excited that I went and took a bunch of pictures and had an upload fest, so I’ll slowly work on adding words to all these pictures and post them. And if I go into labor I’ll just post them and you can guess what they’re all about. Haha.

As the title suggests, I feel like we’re basically ready for the baby to come. At this point, we have everything we absolutely need, and a whole lot of what we don’t but that it’s nice to have. I read this great quote a couple months ago about how people stress out about having all these “essential” baby items but really only really needing some diapers and your breasts. That aside, here are some “before” shots of the baby prep.
The bassinet. I’ve had people ask about having her room set up, and… no, this is the extent of “her room”. This is for a number of reasons, the main one being that we were planning on having her in our room anyway so when we moved, knowing this was not our permanent home and that we’ll likely move before she’s 6 months old, we figured there was no reason to take up a whole room with baby stuff. So one spare room is the guest room, and the other very small room is Twinkie’s room (with a bed in case we really need two guest rooms at once). So anyway, there’s the bassinet.
The really snazzy co-sleeper so that she can be in our bed at night but still have her own space. It’s a good thing we have such a nice big bed. We just need to figure out how we’re going to arrange things because Adrian and I were actually looking forward to sleeping next to each other again after having the pillow mountain between us for the past few months.

Yes, I know, you’re thinking we might sleep better and not wake up to every noise if she’s not right next to us. If that becomes an issue, the bassinet is pretty movable. The spot in the closet currently taken up by the “take with us for birth” bag would be an excellent place for her to have her own spot where we can still hear her when she needs us but not hear every single noise.
Changing station. Why spend money and space on an extra piece of furniture when you have room and can stick the pad on the bathroom counter… and then be conveniently next to a sink to boot? Of course we didn’t realize how long these things are and it prettymuch takes up all the room between our sinks. Oh well. I just ordered some more diapering stuff yesterday so once that comes we’ll really have everything we’re planning on getting for now.
Very fancy dresser. That is to say, I bought some plastic drawers and stuck them in our closet. But the point here is that everything is washed and folded and ready to go.
A nursing basket. Today I decided I should put together a basket of nursing essentials, so there’s the cream, burp clothes, pillow, and reading material. Notice Martha: I’ve been too busy to read January yet! Horrors!

I am aware that all you moms out there are laughing at the fact that I included reading in this basket. A girl can dream, okay?
And this is probably my favorite… Adrian wanted to get a car seat that would look good in his car. I figure if that’s what it takes, then sure, whatever, because it’ll be nice to not have to switch things back and forth whenever we take different cars. So we got a convertible one that goes from birth up to booster. He picked it out, based on color but also feeling how comfortable it appeared. Last night Adrian took it out and figured out the straps and everything and then just had to test out if he could fit in it. Yes, my husband’s behind is much smaller than mine (especially now) and he fit.

I’m getting excited, and not just because we’ve got the stuff ready. I’m getting really curious to know what she looks like. That’s maybe not the best reason to want her out here, but oh well. It works.

Feeling more ready with these physical things is helping me to feel ready all around, like mentally and emotionally… but can you ever really be ready for the birth of a child? I suspect not.

Birth, Life, Death, and Rain

Emily — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:30:00 +0000

Note: I wrote this October 1st, but due to some issues with my computer and not having Adrian’s set up I wasn’t able to post the picture that I really wanted with it, so I’ve just been holding on to it. So realize that whatever is here is now really really old information. I no longer have four months to mull over my transition to motherhood! I never did get the picture to work that I wanted with it, so just imagine there’s this neat picture of my grandma in the 40s holding my uncle as a little baby. This is so old that I almost feel like I shouldn’t even bother to post it, but I think I will anyway. It’s been sitting in our list of posts for so long, making Adrian nuts, that for all that effort I might as well just publish the thing.

Last weekend (about a week ago now, I guess) I made another quick sneak trip to California. My dad’s brother had died, and the funeral was on Monday. It’s his family role to give eulogies, it seems, and so he got the job of talking about his brother’s life and telling stories. Luckily he was there before we were, by the way, because my mom and I got lost three times en route, and from looking at the map and rushing I started throwing up… it was quite the start to the morning. And my grandma and other uncle (the only one of my dad’s four brothers remaining alive) barely made it from multiple flight issues. But we all eventually got there and it was actually quite nice. I heard stories I’d never heard before about times my dad spent with his brother and his wife, like having bean wars. Apparently they’d have these battles with forts and everything in the backyard where they’d spit beans at each other through straws. Odd, but apparently they all got really into it and had a good time.

It was a little drizzly that morning, and my dad said that it was appropriate because his family always liked rain. He said that his brother loved it because when they were all young and it would rain their parents would open all the windows and the whole family would watch and listen to the rain. It suddenly clicked why I love rain, too. Did my dad do this with me as a kid? I don’t remember, actually, but I know that I love listening to rain. And what do you think I had I done that very morning before the funeral? My mom and I heard thunder, so I took Trevor and Tyler up to the balcony doors on the third floor for a good view. We opened the doors and sat and watched the rain and listened for thunder claps. I enjoyed the full-circle feeling of it all.

Because my grandma was out of town, my dad had gone to her house to clean and get everything ready for people to come over after the service. I was with him on Saturday after he picked me up at the airport. Admittedly I wasn’t a ton of help, but I did go through and find a bunch of old pictures. I’d been wanting to get some of that from my grandma. She’s never been a big talker, at least in my memory, and I don’t know a lot about when she was younger. Anyway, so I borrowed the pictures and took them to my parents’ house to scan. I never burned myself a disk, but I did email a few to myself, including this one of my grandma. I think I like it so much because my grandma looks so young, something I’ve never even heard about, as I said. It’s from 1943 in Chicago, and she’s holding her first baby, the uncle for whose funeral I was home. She looks happy. I wonder how she felt when she was at the point in life, more or less, that I’m at, with my first little baby coming. Okay, so she was ten years younger than I am (and I’m not exactly old), but that’s not the point. So then I also wonder: what was life like for my mom’s mom at my age? If I have the timing of things right, by my age I think she had four kids already with no husband around. I don’t feel that same sense of curiosity with my own mom, because I know her and have always looked at pictures and movies from their 20s, so it’s not really an unknown to me.

Speaking of this baby, she’s getting big, which means so am I! I’ll try to take a picture of myself this weekend. Any day I’ve showered and done anything more that put my hair in a ponytail–or put any makeup on!–I don’t think about taking a picture. When I do think about it, I certainly don’t want a picture of myself because I probably haven’t showered or anything. Overall I feel great. I can feel her wiggling around, which is so cool. She’s been sleepy the past few days, though, I think. Hehe. I still sleep through the night without bathroom breaks and have avoided serious indigestion or food weirdness or random cravings. If one of us talks about a food, it will suddenly sound good to me, but it’s not like I have a “MUST EAT THAT FOOD NOW!” feeling or anything. So far I’m getting the fun parts of this stage of pregnancy without any big negatives. I’m grateful for it. Only about four months to go! Neat!

I have moments of fear about the responsibility of having a baby and raising a child. For the most part, I’m very excited, but I just worry about being a good mom and somehow teaching her all she’ll need. And then I wonder about having more babies. Two sides there, too: I’m so excited for this baby that I can’t imagine ever wanting another one (because how can you improve on such a lovely situation?), and then I also can’t imagine how much work two–or more–kids would be. I realize I have plenty of time to work out these things in my head. It’s too late to question whether I’m ready for a child, and perhaps that’s why we get them first as babies. We get to care for them and love them infinitely before they start testing us.

Approaching the Final Stretch

Emily — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 11:33:00 +0000

We took this last week, day after Christmas. First, the obvious: the baby’s getting bigger, which is making me bigger, too. It’s 36 weeks now, so the way I figure it could be any time in the next 6 weeks or so. It’s a big waiting game. Life is good, she wiggles around and appears to be doing perfectly, my hips still hurt when I sleep but other than that feel great–just tired. At my appointment on Monday she’s still head down, which she has been for months (thank you, thank you baby!), and apparently she’s already nice and deep in my pelvis so that takes some worry off.

Now for the background details of this picture. You can see how much snow we had gotten by looking at how much of Adrian’s car is buried. I know he already posted a picture, but anyway it’s funny. We haven’t touched his car in weeks and just let it get buried in the driveway and therefore didn’t shovel the driveway at all or anything. Also, it’s still snowing in this picture. And there are trash cans out… they skipped a week in the pickup for obvious reasons so half the street just left them on the “curb” for the whole week just in case. Hehe. We didn’t even bother when they DID come this week because it just wasn’t worth dragging the things through the snow. But we’re lazy snow people, so there you go.

One more thing: this is the 200th post on our blog. Nifty. I wanted to come up with something really fun to do, but we have stuff that needs to be posted. A big belly is a nice 200th post shot, I think. It definitely forebodes big changes!

Baby Bellies

Emily — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:15:00 +0000

Silly story, but I felt like sharing it.

Trevor and Tyler sort of got it at Thanksgiving and then this weekend about me having a baby in my belly. What’s cute is that (I suspect like many young kids) when I’d say anything about it they’d often then add that they have a baby in their belly, too. No sense in ruining their creativity by pointing out that they’re boys and obviously are not pregnant, right? It’s their way of identifying. Anyway, so this weekend the baby was moving around and I was trying to get them to feel. Tyler looked at me and said, “I have a baby in my belly, too. It’s Baby Jesus.”

Apparently he has the Christmas story on the brain. It’s good that he’s thinking about the spiritual side of the season, too.

In other baby news, we had another midwife appointment today and everything looks great still. I learned that my hips hurting from laying on them too long in one position at night is normal for this stage of pregnancy due to relaxin (the most appropriately named hormone I’ve ever heard of). The sleeping hip-hurts are my biggest complaint right about now, so I’m counting my blessings. The crazy leg cramps are solved by taking Calcium-Magnesium at night (thank you to Valerie the midwife for that suggestion). And my blood suger drops which have caused me to barf a few times lately are also solved if I just eat proper snacks that contain protien. Oh, okay, the pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel with the numb hand is a little weird. But oh well. What’s funny to me is that almost every pregnancy “symptom” I’ve had is nothing that I had ever heard being associated with pregnancy before, like the carpal tunnel or leg cramps. (Incidentally, I hesitate to use the word symptom because I’m not sick. I’m pregnant. So maybe I should refer to it as a side effect? But then it sounds like I’m taking some prescription drug.) I was expecting crazy back aches and indigestion and cravings and haven’t really had much of that, but I get all the less-mentioned stuff instead. Like apparently my recent over-stimulation weirdness when I’m in certain places or around too much noise. But that’s another story. It’s almost more like it’s just interesting to me to watch the changes. I am by no means suffering. Plus, all of this has a purpose: I’m making a baby. It’s hard to complain. I do wish I had some idea where my internal organs have migrated to, though. Seriously–where IS my stomach?

Anyway… everything is measuring spot on. The baby is still head down, which she has been ever since they could feel well enough, which has been awhile now. So that’s a very good thing. She’s still sitting on my right side, which I swear she never moves from. Every time I feel around for her that’s where she is, and I never feel her shifting sides. The big “I’m pushing my tushie out” movements are always on the right side and the smaller “this is a limb” movements are always on the left. Very predictable child. She must be very cozy where she is. An added bonus is that it makes it easy for me to feel and identify body parts in there, so then I sound all smart when I can say with confidence where everything is. At least I can tell where HER various parts are, even if my body composition is a mystery right about now.