|
|
16th January, 2009 at 11:45 am by Emily
As of right now, I am pretty darn cozy with this whole pregnancy business. Maybe if I start pushing a week or two “overdue” my tune will change, but approaching 39 weeks I still think it’s just peachy. I think it’s kind of too bad that there’s this thing about wanting to scare pregnant women and tell horror stories or focus on the negative side of pregnancy. [Funny, charming, and happy emotional article here that refers to that.]
YES my hips hurt, my arms/hands go numb, I’m exhausted, I’m a little anxious, I have to go to the bathroom a lot, I get heartburn (mildly, luckily), early pregnancy nausea brought me to tears a few times, my giant belly gets in the way of everyday movement, I have stretch marks across the lower half of that belly (extra-concentrated in the area where she spends most of her time, interestingly), and my body has gone through some really funky hormone-induced changes that I’ll spare you all the details of because trust me you don’t want to know. Oh, and I snore and make Adrian crazy because my lungs are pushed up somewhere in my throat. But, um… I’m producing another life. Of course I’m going to go through a lot of changes. This is not a bad thing.
The way you frame something– anything– really does affect the way you feel about it. I promise. I’m trying to be positive about everything, and I really do then feel positive about it. The only times I feel un-positive are when I start regretting all that extra attention I probably could have been milking all this time. Oh, and when I get comments like, “Oh, are you uncomfortable? You look uncomfortable.” And I reply, “No, actually I feel pretty good…” (That’s right up there with comments along the lines of, “You look really tired” and you start wondering how terrible you must look to other people because you thought you were looking okay that day.)
So… here’s what I’ll miss most of all: the baby kicking at me. I LOVE it. I wish she moved more. Sometimes I’ll eat something high in sugar and move her around a bit just to get a few extra kicks out of her. I just imagine her squirming around and playing and learning and growing all while inside of me. I also always make a point of telling her aloud how much I like feeling her, because I really believe that babies can feel our emotions and I want her to know that I’m happy when she’s moving. Her movements equal a healthy growing baby, and I want her to feel comfortable. Now she’s moving deeper into my pelvis and I can feel her putting pressure on everything with her head so the movements have changed, but I still tell her to keep going and doing what she needs to do in there. Her movements are exactly “right” to prepare both of us for birth.
I’m not trying to be contrary or anything here, I just want to be one voice out there that is positive about pregnancy. I know a lot of people who are a little or a lot pregnant right now, and I don’t want to add more fodder to the fire… because I probably could answer that yes I’m uncomfortable and go into great detail about why. But why focus on that? Yeah, it’s a total change. And there are moments where I just feel huge and cranky. But these are good things, and it means this baby is getting ready to join us, more and more every day. It is absolutely amazing that our bodies can grow other bodies and produce little babies. It’s mind-blowing to feel another life growing in you, and I’m guessing that then giving birth to this life only cements that miracle. So a few stretch marks, some uncomfortable sleep, and a few months of weird body changes? Yeah, it’s worth it.
15th January, 2009 at 9:49 am by Emily
Well! Blogger my magic friend has decided to let us upload pictures without a lot of hassle. I was so excited that I went and took a bunch of pictures and had an upload fest, so I’ll slowly work on adding words to all these pictures and post them. And if I go into labor I’ll just post them and you can guess what they’re all about. Haha.
As the title suggests, I feel like we’re basically ready for the baby to come. At this point, we have everything we absolutely need, and a whole lot of what we don’t but that it’s nice to have. I read this great quote a couple months ago about how people stress out about having all these “essential” baby items but really only really needing some diapers and your breasts. That aside, here are some “before” shots of the baby prep.
 The bassinet. I’ve had people ask about having her room set up, and… no, this is the extent of “her room”. This is for a number of reasons, the main one being that we were planning on having her in our room anyway so when we moved, knowing this was not our permanent home and that we’ll likely move before she’s 6 months old, we figured there was no reason to take up a whole room with baby stuff. So one spare room is the guest room, and the other very small room is Twinkie’s room (with a bed in case we really need two guest rooms at once). So anyway, there’s the bassinet.
 The really snazzy co-sleeper so that she can be in our bed at night but still have her own space. It’s a good thing we have such a nice big bed. We just need to figure out how we’re going to arrange things because Adrian and I were actually looking forward to sleeping next to each other again after having the pillow mountain between us for the past few months. 
Yes, I know, you’re thinking we might sleep better and not wake up to every noise if she’s not right next to us. If that becomes an issue, the bassinet is pretty movable. The spot in the closet currently taken up by the “take with us for birth” bag would be an excellent place for her to have her own spot where we can still hear her when she needs us but not hear every single noise.
 Changing station. Why spend money and space on an extra piece of furniture when you have room and can stick the pad on the bathroom counter… and then be conveniently next to a sink to boot? Of course we didn’t realize how long these things are and it prettymuch takes up all the room between our sinks. Oh well. I just ordered some more diapering stuff yesterday so once that comes we’ll really have everything we’re planning on getting for now.
 Very fancy dresser. That is to say, I bought some plastic drawers and stuck them in our closet. But the point here is that everything is washed and folded and ready to go.
 A nursing basket. Today I decided I should put together a basket of nursing essentials, so there’s the cream, burp clothes, pillow, and reading material. Notice Martha: I’ve been too busy to read January yet! Horrors!
I am aware that all you moms out there are laughing at the fact that I included reading in this basket. A girl can dream, okay?
 And this is probably my favorite… Adrian wanted to get a car seat that would look good in his car. I figure if that’s what it takes, then sure, whatever, because it’ll be nice to not have to switch things back and forth whenever we take different cars. So we got a convertible one that goes from birth up to booster. He picked it out, based on color but also feeling how comfortable it appeared. Last night Adrian took it out and figured out the straps and everything and then just had to test out if he could fit in it. Yes, my husband’s behind is much smaller than mine (especially now) and he fit.
I’m getting excited, and not just because we’ve got the stuff ready. I’m getting really curious to know what she looks like. That’s maybe not the best reason to want her out here, but oh well. It works.
Feeling more ready with these physical things is helping me to feel ready all around, like mentally and emotionally… but can you ever really be ready for the birth of a child? I suspect not.
8th January, 2009 at 9:30 pm by Emily
Note: I wrote this October 1st, but due to some issues with my computer and not having Adrian’s set up I wasn’t able to post the picture that I really wanted with it, so I’ve just been holding on to it. So realize that whatever is here is now really really old information. I no longer have four months to mull over my transition to motherhood! I never did get the picture to work that I wanted with it, so just imagine there’s this neat picture of my grandma in the 40s holding my uncle as a little baby. This is so old that I almost feel like I shouldn’t even bother to post it, but I think I will anyway. It’s been sitting in our list of posts for so long, making Adrian nuts, that for all that effort I might as well just publish the thing.
Last weekend (about a week ago now, I guess) I made another quick sneak trip to California. My dad’s brother had died, and the funeral was on Monday. It’s his family role to give eulogies, it seems, and so he got the job of talking about his brother’s life and telling stories. Luckily he was there before we were, by the way, because my mom and I got lost three times en route, and from looking at the map and rushing I started throwing up… it was quite the start to the morning. And my grandma and other uncle (the only one of my dad’s four brothers remaining alive) barely made it from multiple flight issues. But we all eventually got there and it was actually quite nice. I heard stories I’d never heard before about times my dad spent with his brother and his wife, like having bean wars. Apparently they’d have these battles with forts and everything in the backyard where they’d spit beans at each other through straws. Odd, but apparently they all got really into it and had a good time.
It was a little drizzly that morning, and my dad said that it was appropriate because his family always liked rain. He said that his brother loved it because when they were all young and it would rain their parents would open all the windows and the whole family would watch and listen to the rain. It suddenly clicked why I love rain, too. Did my dad do this with me as a kid? I don’t remember, actually, but I know that I love listening to rain. And what do you think I had I done that very morning before the funeral? My mom and I heard thunder, so I took Trevor and Tyler up to the balcony doors on the third floor for a good view. We opened the doors and sat and watched the rain and listened for thunder claps. I enjoyed the full-circle feeling of it all.
Because my grandma was out of town, my dad had gone to her house to clean and get everything ready for people to come over after the service. I was with him on Saturday after he picked me up at the airport. Admittedly I wasn’t a ton of help, but I did go through and find a bunch of old pictures. I’d been wanting to get some of that from my grandma. She’s never been a big talker, at least in my memory, and I don’t know a lot about when she was younger. Anyway, so I borrowed the pictures and took them to my parents’ house to scan. I never burned myself a disk, but I did email a few to myself, including this one of my grandma. I think I like it so much because my grandma looks so young, something I’ve never even heard about, as I said. It’s from 1943 in Chicago, and she’s holding her first baby, the uncle for whose funeral I was home. She looks happy. I wonder how she felt when she was at the point in life, more or less, that I’m at, with my first little baby coming. Okay, so she was ten years younger than I am (and I’m not exactly old), but that’s not the point. So then I also wonder: what was life like for my mom’s mom at my age? If I have the timing of things right, by my age I think she had four kids already with no husband around. I don’t feel that same sense of curiosity with my own mom, because I know her and have always looked at pictures and movies from their 20s, so it’s not really an unknown to me.
Speaking of this baby, she’s getting big, which means so am I! I’ll try to take a picture of myself this weekend. Any day I’ve showered and done anything more that put my hair in a ponytail–or put any makeup on!–I don’t think about taking a picture. When I do think about it, I certainly don’t want a picture of myself because I probably haven’t showered or anything. Overall I feel great. I can feel her wiggling around, which is so cool. She’s been sleepy the past few days, though, I think. Hehe. I still sleep through the night without bathroom breaks and have avoided serious indigestion or food weirdness or random cravings. If one of us talks about a food, it will suddenly sound good to me, but it’s not like I have a “MUST EAT THAT FOOD NOW!” feeling or anything. So far I’m getting the fun parts of this stage of pregnancy without any big negatives. I’m grateful for it. Only about four months to go! Neat!
I have moments of fear about the responsibility of having a baby and raising a child. For the most part, I’m very excited, but I just worry about being a good mom and somehow teaching her all she’ll need. And then I wonder about having more babies. Two sides there, too: I’m so excited for this baby that I can’t imagine ever wanting another one (because how can you improve on such a lovely situation?), and then I also can’t imagine how much work two–or more–kids would be. I realize I have plenty of time to work out these things in my head. It’s too late to question whether I’m ready for a child, and perhaps that’s why we get them first as babies. We get to care for them and love them infinitely before they start testing us.
31st December, 2008 at 11:33 am by Emily
 We took this last week, day after Christmas. First, the obvious: the baby’s getting bigger, which is making me bigger, too. It’s 36 weeks now, so the way I figure it could be any time in the next 6 weeks or so. It’s a big waiting game. Life is good, she wiggles around and appears to be doing perfectly, my hips still hurt when I sleep but other than that feel great–just tired. At my appointment on Monday she’s still head down, which she has been for months (thank you, thank you baby!), and apparently she’s already nice and deep in my pelvis so that takes some worry off.
Now for the background details of this picture. You can see how much snow we had gotten by looking at how much of Adrian’s car is buried. I know he already posted a picture, but anyway it’s funny. We haven’t touched his car in weeks and just let it get buried in the driveway and therefore didn’t shovel the driveway at all or anything. Also, it’s still snowing in this picture. And there are trash cans out… they skipped a week in the pickup for obvious reasons so half the street just left them on the “curb” for the whole week just in case. Hehe. We didn’t even bother when they DID come this week because it just wasn’t worth dragging the things through the snow. But we’re lazy snow people, so there you go.
One more thing: this is the 200th post on our blog. Nifty. I wanted to come up with something really fun to do, but we have stuff that needs to be posted. A big belly is a nice 200th post shot, I think. It definitely forebodes big changes!
17th December, 2008 at 8:15 pm by Emily
Silly story, but I felt like sharing it.
Trevor and Tyler sort of got it at Thanksgiving and then this weekend about me having a baby in my belly. What’s cute is that (I suspect like many young kids) when I’d say anything about it they’d often then add that they have a baby in their belly, too. No sense in ruining their creativity by pointing out that they’re boys and obviously are not pregnant, right? It’s their way of identifying. Anyway, so this weekend the baby was moving around and I was trying to get them to feel. Tyler looked at me and said, “I have a baby in my belly, too. It’s Baby Jesus.”
Apparently he has the Christmas story on the brain. It’s good that he’s thinking about the spiritual side of the season, too.
In other baby news, we had another midwife appointment today and everything looks great still. I learned that my hips hurting from laying on them too long in one position at night is normal for this stage of pregnancy due to relaxin (the most appropriately named hormone I’ve ever heard of). The sleeping hip-hurts are my biggest complaint right about now, so I’m counting my blessings. The crazy leg cramps are solved by taking Calcium-Magnesium at night (thank you to Valerie the midwife for that suggestion). And my blood suger drops which have caused me to barf a few times lately are also solved if I just eat proper snacks that contain protien. Oh, okay, the pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel with the numb hand is a little weird. But oh well. What’s funny to me is that almost every pregnancy “symptom” I’ve had is nothing that I had ever heard being associated with pregnancy before, like the carpal tunnel or leg cramps. (Incidentally, I hesitate to use the word symptom because I’m not sick. I’m pregnant. So maybe I should refer to it as a side effect? But then it sounds like I’m taking some prescription drug.) I was expecting crazy back aches and indigestion and cravings and haven’t really had much of that, but I get all the less-mentioned stuff instead. Like apparently my recent over-stimulation weirdness when I’m in certain places or around too much noise. But that’s another story. It’s almost more like it’s just interesting to me to watch the changes. I am by no means suffering. Plus, all of this has a purpose: I’m making a baby. It’s hard to complain. I do wish I had some idea where my internal organs have migrated to, though. Seriously–where IS my stomach?
Anyway… everything is measuring spot on. The baby is still head down, which she has been ever since they could feel well enough, which has been awhile now. So that’s a very good thing. She’s still sitting on my right side, which I swear she never moves from. Every time I feel around for her that’s where she is, and I never feel her shifting sides. The big “I’m pushing my tushie out” movements are always on the right side and the smaller “this is a limb” movements are always on the left. Very predictable child. She must be very cozy where she is. An added bonus is that it makes it easy for me to feel and identify body parts in there, so then I sound all smart when I can say with confidence where everything is. At least I can tell where HER various parts are, even if my body composition is a mystery right about now.
|
|
